


Wounded Lilies

by shyscience



Series: Neon Flowers - Stripper AU [1]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Prostitution, Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Prostitution, Sexual Content, Strippers & Strip Clubs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-03-13 09:24:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 38,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13567614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shyscience/pseuds/shyscience
Summary: Despite his better judgement, Berwald lets himself get dragged to a strip club by his best friend, Mathias. However, he meets the most gorgeous man he's ever seen there and practically falls head over heels for him. The only problem being, this man is a stripper, who Berwald quickly finds is in a lot danger.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Rated E just to be safe. This chapter isn't too explicit however it does have sexual themes. I will have more warnings at the beginning of future chapters when they're needed. 
> 
> This fanfic is going to be focusing on SuFin, but I am planning on having a related story for USUK in the near future that can be read together or separately from this one! I just wanted to write something for the fandom I love so much and not your typical stripper story. As a forewarning, this fanfic will have some serious adult themes in it like physical and emotional abuse, drug usage, depression, and more. 
> 
> Enjoy!

“Come on, Berwald, you hardly get out anymore. You’re always working.” Mathias groaned, earning him a roll of the eyes from the larger male.

“That’s how you get paid, Mathias.” Berwald replied simply, continuing to type on his computer while trying to ignore the lingering presence beside him. He didn’t have time for Mathias’ games, he had to get these reports done before he left and he did not need any more distractions.

Mathias on the other hand had different ideas. He knew Berwald worked hard, but that was the problem. He worked hard all the time and he never set time aside to relax or have fun. Plus, he never went out and talked to anyone, and it was getting to the point where Mathias felt he had to take it upon himself to get him out there more. 

“No way, we can work on this together Monday. It’s Friday night, we have to go out and do something. I won’t leave you alone until you agree.” He grinned devilishly.

Berwald risked a glance in the other man’s direction and was met with the look he knew all too well. It was the look that he got when he knew he was defeated because Mathias would not give up once his mind was set. 

The Swede let out a rough sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fine.” He muttered, ignoring the loud ‘woo’ing that followed. “But I’m finishing this report first.” And he couldn’t help the self-satisfied smirk that came across his face hearing the disappointment in Mathias’ groan.

 

~ ~ ~

 

“Here? Really?” Berwald knew he was going to regret this night out and he hadn’t even made it into the club yet. He was staring up at an old neon sign with the very creative description of ‘Sexy!’ glaring out into the darkening street. It was obviously an older building with faded paint, an uneven parking lot, and a questionable location. He cringed at the thought of even stepping foot inside. He never really saw the appeal of these places and felt like calling off the deal the second he saw where the Dane had drove them. However, Mathias looked as excited as ever. 

“Relax, it’ll be fun. They have booze and lots of pretty girls. What more do you need? Plus, I haven’t been to this one yet and I want to try it out, so humor me, won’t you?” He smacked the taller man’s arm before flashing off his ID at the bouncer and stepping inside after Berwald had done the same. “Don’t worry, just sit and let yourself unwind for once in your life.” He practically pulled the other man along with him and sat him down in a chair that Berwald wasn’t sure had ever been washed. “I’m going to go get us a couple beers, be right back, don’t move a muscle.”

For what felt like the millionth time that night, Berwald was contemplating just how devoted to this friendship he really was, until the Dane returned with a drink in each hand. He set one beside his friend before flopping into the seat beside him. Mathias was grinning ear to ear, obviously much more infatuated by the idea of dancing women than Berwald thought he could ever be. “Just in time too, I think they’re about to start.” 

Berwald looked around and noticed it wasn’t as crowded as he would have thought for a Friday night. He wondered if they were lucky for that or if that just meant more girls were going to come to them trying to get money instead. He groaned at the thought and looked back towards the stage when a hidden man began talking over an intercom somewhere in the dark club. 

“Welcome, gentlemen!” The voice announced. “First up we have the rising star of our fine establishment. New, but already a popular favorite! Gentlemen, I give you Artemis!” There were a few cheers from the men around them as the lights on the stage grew even brighter. For a small place, it seemed to put a lot of production value on the main event. The stage had three long poles, one of which was at the end of a long runway and went further into the crowd. It was shiny and looked relatively clean compared to the rest of the establishment. He guessed they had to take care of it at least to put on a good front.

The Swede grabbed his beer and took a gulp of it to try and calm his nerves. He couldn’t believe he let Mathias talk him into going to a strip club of all the stupid places. He half glared up at the stage as music began to drown out the sound of clinking bottles and murmurs. It wasn’t exactly his taste in music, it was more of a rock or punk song than one he would have expected to be in a place like this.

The curtain beside the stage moved and suddenly he understood the music. But that wasn’t what really got his attention, because instead of a busty, half dressed woman skipping out and blowing kisses, it was a man. One that was dressed in some very tight, black skinny jeans and a ripped up crop top covered only by a spiked leather jacket. He had short, shaggy blonde hair and thick eyebrows that were furrowed into a angsty scowl as he strutted up the stage, heavy boots thumping the whole way. Upon closer inspection, he had plenty of piercings too, at least four in each ear, one by his belly button, and one in the tongue he was quick to find as the man, Artemis, liked to show it off. Along with these he had several spiked bracelets and a choker that looked like a collar strapped around his neck. As he made his way up to the main pole, Berwald finally snapped himself out of his shock long enough to look over to his companion who shared the same dumb look, staring up at the dancing man in front of them. 

He jerked Mathias out of his trance by hitting his arm, forcing the Dane to face him. His unimpressed expression must have said enough because in an instant Mathias was holding up his hands in defense and shaking his head.

“Man, I had no idea it was going to be a dude, I swear!” He defended quickly. “Maybe it’s girls night out or something and I missed the memo.”

“There’s only men in here.” Berwald muttered in return, striking down Mathias’ excuse. He took another swig of his beer and kept glaring at his friend until the music changed and the next dancer was announced. 

It wasn’t that Berwald was really bothered by the fact it was men instead of women, he had made it perfectly clear that he liked men just fine, the only issue was that they never seemed to like him. He was tall, much taller than most men, in fact. He towered over everyone he knew and it didn’t help he had the persistent expression of indifference and a hard time showing emotions. That was why he was so suspicious of Mathias bringing him here, because he was sure the Dane had planned this.

Finishing the last of his drink, Berwald stood from his chair and started to shuffle out of the way. 

“Hey! Where are you going? Are you that pissed?” Mathias half yelled, but under the beat of the music it was muffled. 

Berwald ignored him and continued on towards the bar to get another, stronger, drink. He watched the stage with blank eyes, seeing the newest dancer twirl around the pole with ease and let the men crowded around him give him cash by shoving it into his thong. He ordered another drink after gulping down the other and continued watching. None of the dancers really caught his interest much and after a while they started to come out onto the floor too and capture men with promises of more private interactions. 

Berwald counted himself lucky that none of them wanted to come up to him but from the corner of his eye he could see Mathias with someone he couldn’t quite make out in the dim light. He figured he would disappear within the next few minutes with whoever it was and he would be left out here to drink. He almost wanted to feel jealous for his friend’s ability to talk to literally anyone about pretty much anything.

Instead, he busied by nursing his drink again, letting his eyes flutter back to the stage. Another dancer was being announced and he just barely caught the name “Santa’s Helper” before a faintly Christmas themed tune started to play alongside an obnoxious pop beat. He wondered how these men picked their themes, because it wasn’t exactly near the holidays so he didn’t see the point. Still, he let his eyes fall on the curtain as it was flipped away and another young man came out.

The Swede blinked in surprise, this guy was actually pretty...cute. He was shorter than the other dancers he’d seen, with light blonde hair and pale skin. He had a round face and an expression that made Berwald want to storm to the very front row. But he couldn’t do that, he had his pride, and it was being tarnished enough just being here. 

Yet, he couldn’t tear his eyes off the man dressed in what could only be described as a sexy Santa Claus outfit. Whether it was the deep V-neck that dipped just down far enough to show off the top of his chest or the red shorts that covered just enough to keep him guessing, Berwald was entranced. Everything of course trimmed with white fluff and the traditional Santa’s hat for good measure. For as innocent as his face looked, his body was saying otherwise as he dragged it across the pole in rhythm with the music. Berwald couldn’t stop himself from staring until the act was over.

After “Santa’s Helper” had left the stage, Berwald turned back around to face the bar with a now very persistent burn coiling up at the base of his stomach. He had no idea what was wrong with him but he couldn’t stop himself from thinking that stripper, a man he’d never met before, was the most gorgeous person he’d probably ever seen. He pulled off his glasses and rubbed his eyes, letting out a low sigh to collect himself. 

“Are you okay?”

Berwald jumped slightly at the question, not expecting anyone to come up to him, no one ever did before. But the voice was soft and laced with an accent he couldn’t quite place in his current state, but it was one he wouldn’t mind hearing more of. 

He returned his glasses to their position on his nose and turned to see who was talking. Much to his surprise, and slight horror, he was face to face with the man he had just been trying to forget. He was even cuter up close. He had soft features, much different than his own, and big, wide eyes that looked almost violet in the dim light. He had discarded his hat, but still wore the same revealing outfit as on stage. Berwald had to resist the urge to touch the silky fabric. 

“You alright?” 

He blinked as he realized he never answered the question the first time and noticed the genuine concern on the shorter man’s face. Berwald coughed awkwardly into his fist and nodded. “Yes, sorry.” He answered shortly, but it seemed to be enough to appease him since the other smiled in relief.

“That’s good. You looked upset about something so I came over, but if you’re really okay then I guess I worried for nothing.” He let out a light chuckle. 

There was a stale silence between them for a few moments until the shorter man stepped closer, causing Berwald to tense up nervously. 

“You don’t really look like you want to be here.” The man noted, only earning a nod in answer. When he realized he wasn’t going to get anymore, he continued. “But you must be a little interested or else you wouldn’t have been watching me on stage so intently.” A small, humored smile curved his round face upwards and Berwald felt his face start to burn despite not changing expression. He hadn’t even realized he’d been noticed.

The stranger laughed and leaned sideways on the counter beside Berwald, looking up at him with a self-satisfied grin. “You’re shy,” he said knowingly, not needing a reply. The way the Swede’s face stained red was enough of an answer. “If you’d like, we can go somewhere private instead.” The intent clear on his lips as he watched Berwald closely.

Of course this man would single him out of everyone in the crowd, this was his job, to know who wanted it the most and oh god did Berwald want it. So badly, in fact, that he nodded and stood up without a word, leaving the rest of his drink abandoned on the bar. The other man’s smile returned and he took a hold of his hand and began guiding him towards a red curtain that led out of the main area. 

Berwald couldn’t help but keep his eyes transfixed on the smaller body in front of him, noticing how soft his skin was between his fingers, how perfect his form was, and the slight sway of his hips as he walked. He didn’t even bother to look to see if Mathias was still where he had left him or if he too had been led away and to be frank, he didn’t care. His friend was the last person on his mind as he entered a room with a lily imprinted on the door and was sat down in a lone chair. He was being stared down at by the other blonde with a look he couldn’t quite read for his sweet smile returned.

“Alright, I’m sure you were expecting this, but it’s twenty upfront.” He told him simply.

There was little hesitation as Berwald pulled out his wallet and luckily had enough in cash to hand over. He waited patiently as it was taken and stored away in a lock box under a cabinet in the corner. His blue eyes watched the other man with anticipation, or more so he watched those hips as they swayed back over towards him, looking away only after a hand ran down the side of his face. 

“Now that that is out of the way, we can get down to business.” The hand trailed down his jaw and towards his tie, loosening it a bit so it hung down and undone. “You look like you need to relax more,” He commented, walking behind him and started to knead the Swede’s shoulders. He could feel the strength under his fingers as he did so, and he could tell the tall man eased up a little under the pressure. 

“That’s it, just relax.” His breath was light and flowed through Berwald like a gentle wave. His earlier anxiety was almost forgotten, replaced by the sweet sound of this stranger’s voice.

Berwald felt like melting into those soft hands, but the peace could only last so long. He was quickly reminded that he wasn’t here for a massage when he felt those warm hands trail down from his shoulders and across his chest, down towards his pants, then back up again. All the while, words of honey were being whispered into his ear. Empty promises that made him feel like he wouldn’t be lonely forever.

But he would be, he knew that. The only reason he wasn’t right now was because this man, this gorgeous man, was doing his job. If he wasn’t in here right now with him, some other lucky bastard would be. So he supposed he should consider himself lucky and just enjoy it while it lasted.

The Christmas-clad man circled around him again, trailing his fingertips along Berwald’s arm as he did so. He stood before him, his sweet face taking in the overbearing man before him for a few moments before he took his face in his hands. He slowly crawled onto the Swede’s lap and pushed his body against him, rubbing and prodding in the way he knew drove men insane. He had legs on either side of his client, shorts barely enough to hide anything and certainly not enough to cover the obvious excitement going on in the man’s pants below him. 

A self-satisfied smirk crossed his round face and he shifted back and forth, rubbing more against the growing bulge. 

He was used to his customers being more vocal than this. Usually they would be calling him dirty names or asking him to do certain things, but all this man was doing was emitting low groans. His face was as stoic as ever but it was flushed a bright scarlet so he must be doing something right. 

He still had to keep things interesting, however, so after a particularly loud groan, he got off his lap and instead bent down between his knees. Teasingly, he pressed his lips against the fabric of his pants that looked awfully tight now, trailing kisses up and down his large thigh. 

After he was done with that, he felt it was appropriate to let his client soak in his body for all it was. That’s what he was here for, after all. He couldn’t go any farther in the club, it was a matter of law that no actual sex of any kind take place. But, some dirty dancing was never frowned upon.

Berwald felt like he was dizzy, letting the smaller male do as he pleased and he sure knew what he was doing. It was hard not to moan out when the cutest guy he’d ever seen was literally straddling him. But he settled for hot pants of breath until he was climbed off of. Not that he complained because as soon as the weight left from on top of him, Santa’s Helper took it upon himself to dancing with the music that was playing from a speaker in the ceiling. It was generic music, not that Berwald was in the mind to care. The soft body before him looked all the more gorgeous as he moved to the beat, spinning to show off every inch of his curves. 

The show ended with a buzzer yelling from over on the small counter in the corner. Berwald hadn’t even seen the man set it but apparently his time was up because that red and white form fluttered over and turned the sound off.

Still red faced and throbbing, Berwald didn’t have the will to move. He didn’t want to leave just yet and he felt like his new problem would be glaringly obvious in his pants as he walked out for all to see. He continued to watch as the stripper fiddled with the timer, taking him in for the last time. The way his body curved perfectly, how his backside somehow stayed in those small shorts, how his eyes gave off such a sense of peace.

Berwald blinked at this thought, realizing that the man had turned back around and was watching him back with his violet stare. This didn’t help his blush disappear very well. It was quiet between them until Berwald decided to clear his throat and speak up.

“I-uh...thank you.” Thank you? Really? If Mathias had been there he definitely would have been smacked for his stupidity. Despite his emotionless face, he mentally slapped himself. He just didn’t know what else to say. He must have looked like a complete fool in front of this beautiful human being. He felt like a highschooler with a crush, he was bumbling inside. Really, who in their right mind says thank you in a strip club and expects anyone to-

He stopped mentally kicking himself when a small laugh rang out into the room. He glanced up and saw the scandalous man actually giggling. 

“You’re very welcome. I can tell you enjoyed it.” He replied, only furthering the blush on his customer’s face. “You’ve been a real sweetheart, you know? Not every guy is so polite.” Actually, most of them weren’t. Most of them came in here hollering obscenities at him and demanding more time or more provocative positions. 

Berwald knew he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help but feel a little jealous at the thought of other men sitting where he was at this moment. Of course plenty did, again it was a strip club and they had to make money, but that didn’t mean he had to like the thought. 

The man went silent in thought before he turned back around towards the counter and pulled a pen and paper out of one of the drawers. “I’ll tell you what,” he said airily, leaving Berwald out of breath for a few seconds. “Have this. I get off at midnight tonight and I’m not doing anything after. If, by chance, you’d like to get to know me a bit more...closely.” Then, he was back over to Berwald, sneaking the folded piece of paper into the front pocket of his shirt.

“I wouldn’t mind seeing you again. And this time, we’d really be alone to get to know each other.” Not in a club. Not where there were other patrons. Not where the law bothered to go. “Goodbye, sweetheart.” He left Berwald with a small kiss on the cheek before opening the door and guiding him out.

The Swede felt like he was in a trance, walking down the red carpet back into the main room where there were still dancers on stage. Santa’s Helper didn’t accompany him past the door and he was left alone to gather his thoughts. 

He looked around the room but still didn’t see Mathias anywhere. He decided not to wait on him and texted him that he was going to go on home and he’d see him at work on Monday. However, when Berwald reached his car, he pulled out the paper from his front pocket and opened it up. It was an address to an apartment written in red ink, but what really caught his attention was the name, signed beside a heart. He stared at the signature, wondering if it was his real name or not, but it felt so good to repeat it in his head. He finally had a name for the beauty he met tonight. It sizzled on his tongue as he mouthed it, finally picking up the courage to say it outloud as he put in the directions in his GPS.

“Tino.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: smut ahead

Berwald wasn’t sure what came over him. Normally, he wouldn’t do this sort of thing, he wouldn’t even consider it. But everytime he felt doubt, that smiling face crept back into the forefront of his mind and he was speeding up.

He still technically had a couple hours to kill before midnight arrived, so he stopped at a convenience store for a couple things and a fast food restaurant to get dinner. As he ate in his car, he glanced at his phone but there was still no message from Mathias. He could only wonder what implications that held since usually he couldn’t get the Dane to _stop_ talking. 

He decided to ignore it and finally gave way to the thoughts racing in his head. 

Was he really going to do this? The intent was undeniable. Tino meant for him to arrive at this apartment to have sex and in return he would pay him. Somehow, Berwald had gotten it mixed in his brain this was more than just that. That his visit was actually going to mean something more than just money to pay the bills. 

And yet, he couldn’t talk himself out of going. 

Mathias was right, he had been lonely for a while. He wasn’t a virgin by any means but it had been a while since his last relationship. Hell, it had been months, if not more, since he even _talked_ to anyone in more than just a friendly way. Still, he had never exactly done something like this before. He tended to avoid strip clubs like the plague, not interested in seeing men or women in thongs rubbing against a cold pole for hours. He rarely even went home with anyone from the bar and on the scarce occasion that did happen he could hardly remember it the day after. 

Besides, there wasn’t much about him that attracted many people. He even scared off quite a few just with height and lack of facial expression alone. He had a good job but it wasn’t very exciting so there wasn’t really anything to talk about there. He didn’t go on great adventures or spontaneous road trips. He was just a regular office worker that sat at home, alone, reading a book or quietly watching a movie. He just wasn’t the guy people gravitated towards for a life time partner. Mathias had tried before to ‘hook him up’ as he called it and each attempt failed miserably.

Maybe this was why Berwald was hardly second guessing his decision to go. It must have been a mix of physical desperation and emotional relief. To imagine holding someone like Tino that close made his cheeks flush and he shifted in his seat to loosen his pants. 

Tonight, he decided, he wouldn’t be the boring businessman that was always alone. 

He wouldn’t be the scary guy in the corner at the party. 

He wouldn’t just be ‘Mathias’ quiet friend’. 

He wasn’t going to be himself. Just for tonight, he was going to be someone who knew the feeling of holding another human being.

He deserved this, he told himself, and there wasn’t anything wrong about it. He needed the release and Tino needed the money, that was all there was to it.

But that wasn’t all there was, really. He was technically breaking the law by doing this and could not only lose his job and ruin his career but even be arrested. He knew what he was risking here but the crimson letters, hastily written on a torn off paper, breathed want into his chest and his loins.

So, he convinced himself over the course of the next two hours that this would be the first and last time he would ever submit to this sort of behavior. He was just going to get it out of his system and then forget Tino forever.

He was completely satisfied with his decision to make this a one night stand and never speak of it again. That was, until, he arrived at his destination and saw Tino again. 

~ ~ ~

After changing into normal clothing and saying goodbye to everyone at the club, Tino made his way back home. He wondered if the Swede he had seduced earlier in the evening would actually show up or not. It was sometimes a hit or miss, since some men were completely enthusiastic about getting to sleep with a stripper and some were wary about to implications of bedding a prostitute. 

A hesitant knock on his door gave him his answer as he got up to open it. He crossed the small space to the door and pulled it open. He was greeted by the familiar, stoic face peering down at him. A smile came to his lips as he stepped back and motioned the tall man inside.

Berwald wasn’t sure what to expect driving up to the apartment complex but certainly not what he saw. It was run down and not in great condition. Even the club looked like it was better maintained than this place where people lived. It towered up several stories but he was pretty sure he could see some shingles dangling off the roof. Suddenly he was more worried about the health of the people who lived here more than anything but he soldiered on.

He locked his car before making his way into the lobby of the building. It was dimly lit and no one was there to greet him so he moved past the desk without a word. There was no elevator, but a crooked sign told him that the floor he needed to be on was up a couple flights of stairs. He trudged up them slowly as his nerves started to get the better of him. He wasn’t sure if it was the paint peeling off the walls, or the creaking wood under his feet, or the unidentifiable odor, or if it was just the fact that this was _really_ about to happen. 

He peeked down at the paper in his hand to confirm he was going to the right room before slowly knocking. He hadn’t been rough but the noise echoed through the hall like whispers in his ear. He heard quiet shuffling behind the door and braced himself to face either a stranger or Tino. Thankfully, it was the latter, and he let out a silent sigh of relief that he did have the right door.

Berwald stepped inside with a nod while Tino closed the door behind him. The taller man felt frozen in place, all those pep talks and promises didn’t do much for him when he was actually there in the same room with Tino. 

“It’s nice to see you again, Mr…?” The short blonde started, coming to stand beside Berwald and take a light hold of his arm.

“Call me Berwald.” He answered almost robotically, like he was just meeting a new acquaintance at work. That was usually the only situation that called for him to actually introduce himself.

“Berwald,” Tino repeated, as if getting a taste for it. He was probably memorizing it just so he knew what to scream out later. Nonetheless, the sound was music to his ears. He never thought his name could sound so delicate, but hearing it from Tino lightened the syllables into a gentle chime. He wanted to hear it on his lips more. 

“I’m glad you decided to come tonight, Berwald.” He continued, his hand still resting on the other’s arm. “It’s okay to be nervous. Here, let me take your coat.” He walked behind the taller man and started to help him shrug his suit coat off. Tino noticed his broad shoulders looked more defined already without it. He took the clothing and hung it by the door before quickly returning to his spot beside his guest. His face twisted in a almost mournful look but it still had a twinge of flirt in it. “I hate to do this right off the bat but it’s going to be fifty bucks.” He informed. 

It took a second for the words to process in Berwald’s mind but he finally nodded, blush already starting to creep into his face as the implications of what to come were finally materializing. He pulled out the money and wordlessly handed it over before shoving his wallet back in his pocket.

Tino accepted the cash with a small smile and took Berwald by the arm again. He led him away from the door, through a small space that was obviously supposed to be a kitchen and dining area but was so small it was just sort of crammed together, into a bedroom with a surprisingly comfortable looking bed and aesthetic decorations. It was dimly lit, and basic, feeling sort of like a hotel room. 

Tino excused himself for a moment, leaving Berwald to enter the room and take more of it in. There was only one lamp on a small bedside table, the window was blocked out by dark curtains, and there was no sign of life in the room whatsoever. With no dressers, television, clothing, or any personal items at all, Berwald wondered whether Tino actually lived and slept here or if this was just some sort of decoy used only for his work. He didn’t have too much time to ponder before he heard a shuffling behind him and he turned to see Tino stripped down in the doorway in nothing but a robe. Heat immediately ran to his face and into his pants at the sight, giving away his admiration despite a lack of vocal response.

Tino didn’t seem fazed by his lack of words and just smiled warmly up at him, slowly shutting the door behind him as he stepped into the room.

“Like I said, it’s alright to be nervous. You obviously haven’t done this before.” Sleep with a prostitute, at least. It was always easy to spot the ones who were new customers versus ones who were longtime clients. “I’m not forcing you to do anything, so stop me if you don’t like something. I just want to learn what makes you moan like you did in the club.” His childish smile morphed into more of a smirk as he said that and he walked closer to Berwald. He had to crane his neck to look him in the eyes but that didn’t stop his hands from reaching up to run across the fabric of the man’s button up shirt. 

Berwald stood still, letting his body be explored in a way he had never experienced. It felt like he was being treasured, like his very body was a work of art being admired. He stared back into those violet eyes until they were closed and Tino was kissing his neck. He swallowed and found the courage to wrap an arm around the man’s small waist while his other hand found his upper back. He could feel Tino’s lips curve up against his neck and it must have encouraged him to go further because the kissing turned into gentle bites and wet sucking, threatening to leave marks on his white skin.

Tino couldn’t lie, he did think it was a little cute how hesitant Berwald was about doing this. He often got men who were anxious because they didn’t want to be found there with him, lest they be punished in the eyes of society, but something was different about this strange, tall man. He was heard to read, that was for certain, but everyone had a story and Tino was good at figuring them out. Mostly because he knew just how to flip the right pages in times like this.

After suckling his neck and feeling pleased with the few lovemarks he had surely left there, Tino let his fingers start to unbutton his client’s shirt. He wasn’t resisted and it was easy to pull away the fabric to reveal an impressive upper half. He had been right about the muscle, it was obvious Berwald had plenty of that. He ran his hands over them with knowing motions, the tips of his fingers memorizing the indents and curves. It was so rare to find someone who actually managed to look even bigger without clothing.

“Wow,” he breathed, biting the reddening ear of his current lover as he began palming the front of his suit pants. “Not just a nice body but obviously very well endowed as well. Didn’t I get lucky tonight?” He smirked, tugged easily on the lobe between his teeth and for the first time causing an actual reaction out of the man in the form of a deep groan. 

That was all the permission he needed to push Berwald back so he was sitting on the bed and he wasted no time getting on his knees before him. 

Running his hands up and down the large thighs, inside of them, and across the bump growing between them. “We may as well finish this since you enjoyed it so much before.” He mentioned, trailing kisses from his knee to his waistline while expertly unbuckling his belt and undoing his button. He wrapped his lips around the tightening bulge as he painfully took his time unzipping the trousers. He earned another moan, this time louder and he glanced up to see Berwald was staring down at him with a deep red face, sweat already dripping from his head. Tino removed his head from him and smiled up at the anxious Swede, eyes half lidded in the way he knew to do. 

“Relax, sweetheart.” He told him, running another hand up and down in thigh in a soothing way. “You’re doing great.”

Berwald was beside himself. How did he end up looking down at this gorgeous creature between his legs? He hadn’t felt a rush like this in a long, long time, and his body was not trying to hide it. He could only begin to take in deep, ragged breaths of anticipation as he watched what was happening. He was silently begging to be released, his pants had long become too tight around him and he wanted release. 

And so, he got it. 

With one quick motion Tino had stopped teasing and finally pulled down his suit pants and boxers enough for him to be on full display. The blonde marveled at the member before his face for only a few moments before opening his mouth to take it in. 

Berwald gripped the sheets beneath his fingers to keep himself under control. He couldn’t finish so soon, they’d only just begun, but Tino was a master at making him want it, and want it _bad_.

He quivered at the sight, watching with loud puffs of breath as the stripper moved his head around him. He had his eyes closed, bobbing back and forth and making Berwald go crazy inside. He was so focused on what was happening that he didn’t notice Tino’s hand slide to touch his own, for a moment interlocking their fingers, before he lifted Berwald’s larger hand and placed it comfortably on his head. Berwald took the hint without a thought, gripping the man’s soft hair as he continued to move his head. There was hardly a more perfect sight in his mind, but one that wouldn’t last much longer.

His blue eyes narrowed, instinctively beginning to move his hips with the rhythm of the mouth around him. His grip on the blonde hair tightened as he moved Tino back and forth against him until he was finally spilling out and his thrusts slowed into a stop. He let go and leaned back, trying to catch his breath. 

Tino was slightly shocked at the sudden control Berwald took but he didn’t fight it. He let him finish before pulling away and wiped his mouth. He gave the man a few seconds to recover by standing and running a hand through the Swede’s hair. It was a relaxing motion that helped ease him as he looked up at the Finn, sweat sticking to his forehead and making his hair damp. 

“I didn’t think you’d be so eager,” he laughed a little, lips red from the abuse they’d just taken. Berwald was mesmerized by them and the way Tino licked them clean. “That’s good though.” He added, letting his robe fall away from his shoulders to reveal his fully undressed body.

Berwald froze and stared at the person only a few inches away from him. He was picture perfect. He had never seen a man look so soft. His pale body went in slightly at the stomach and out at the hips, the perfect place for him to put his hands and dig into the skin. His legs were petite and parted between his thighs. His chest rose with each breath, showing off his small frame. But still, more than anything, Berwald loved his face. He took it in more than ever, it was round and wide, doey eyes watched him in return. Everything about him screamed adorable and beautiful all at once, it was like sleeping with a siren.

“In that case, let’s do this. Go get comfortable against the bedrest.” He instructed and was pleased when his client willingly listened. 

Berwald shifted backwards and laid against the wood, blue eyes never leaving the lavender ones. Tino moved to the bedside table and pulled out a small jar of liquid before crawling onto the bed with it. He swished it in his hand, letting it glisten in the light and making sure Berwald saw what it was. 

He sat down facing the blonde and wasted no time spreading his legs. He watched the shock come over the man from the sudden act and let him calm down before pouring some of the lube onto his fingers. He had learned that lots of men enjoyed a good show in bed and Tino had the feeling that someone as shy as Berwald would be better suited to watch and enjoy than to participate in this part of the process. 

His hand moved down between his legs and he shivered at the feeling of pushing one finger in himself. He started moving it, knowing just the right places to go within his own walls to make himself give the best reactions. He wasn’t disappointing either, he could tell. His eyes stole a glance at the other man who had turned beet red once more and was gaping with such focus Tino was almost flattered. 

He added another finger, feeling himself grow hot and his breathing quickened. Then yet another digit, spreading them out for what was to come next was nothing to compare. Tino had expected Berwald to be large though, it wasn’t hard to guess, and he was proven right as the Swede grew again as he watched him pleasure himself.

Once he felt he was widened enough, Tino took his fingers out with a sigh. Both of them were completely erect at this point but Berwald was still patient as ever. The Finn crawled closer and planted small kisses on his cheek until they moved to his mouth, quickly changing from soft pecks to a violent clashing of tongues. Tino wasn’t trying to hold back any sounds either, moaning into the other’s mouth when he felt a hand squeezing him from behind. It wasn’t long until he found himself on his back and Berwald had him pinned to the bed, once again filled with that lust that sent a primal fire through him. He sighed out as he was rutted against, letting his neck be attacked by lips and teeth as Berwald drank him in.

That’s what he was there for, after all. That’s why he was being paid, to be fucked and left without a second thought.

Suddenly, the movement stopped and Tino opened his eyes to look up but for what seemed like the first time that night, Berwald wasn’t looking at him. He followed his gaze to where he was digging in his pocket and made a small “oh” sound when the tall man produced a condom and ripped it open.

Gorgeous or not, Berwald knew when to be safe, so he had the sensibility to grab a pack of condoms before meeting a prostitute. It didn’t bother him really, it didn’t take any of the sexiness away from Tino or the beauty in his eyes. If anything, he thought he saw something shine in the Finn’s eyes that looked like intrigue at this sight. Maybe other ‘guests’ of his didn’t share the same forward thought as he did.

“Good thinking, sweetheart.” Tino brushed his fingers through Berwald’s short hair. “I was afraid I’d have to move to get one myself.” 

The Swede only replied with a short grunt and nod, letting his hands grab hold of the creamy hips under him as he took in the sights once again. Tino, laid out below him, flushed and sweaty. He’d never seen anything more right in his life and that was all he needed to align himself and push in.

Tino knew Berwald was big and prepared himself for it but damn. That didn’t stop the burn, so he anxiously gripped the sheets and took in a shuddered breath to ease himself. Much to his surprise, Berwald stopped moving instantly.

“You okay?” He asked after a moment of tense silence. “I‘m not hurting you, am I?”

Tino almost felt like giving out a small laugh, relaxing his body now that he had the chance to let it adjust. “Just getting used to it. There’s a lot there to take in.” Quite literally, and Berwald seemed to understand the euphemism because he blushed at it. 

“Just tell me when you’re ready,”

“I’m ready now.” Came the quick reply, and though still slightly hesitant, Berwald pushed more of himself in until he was completely sheathed inside the smaller man. He peered down at Tino grip the sheets, face burning hot and shaking slightly. He made sure not to move in fear of hurting him but Tino noticed and smiled up at him regardless of his obvious worry.

Slowly, Berwald began rocking his hips. It felt like heaven as heat pooled inside him from the motion. He took in every vibration, every wet slap of skin, every small noise that came from Tino as he did so. He quickened his pace once he realized his partner was indeed in no pain and he was able to move more freely. He pushed himself in over and over as the body below him wreathed and wailed, his voice raising higher the faster Berwald went.

“Oh, _fuck_.” Berwald blurted out, nails digging into the flesh of Tino’s hips as he repeatedly drove into him. Nothing was better than hearing that sweet voice call out his name. Even if it was just theatrics, Berwald didn’t care, he loved hearing his name on those lips.

“Ber- _A-Ah!_ Berwald!” Tino called it like a chant. Like it was the only thing in this world that mattered and the Swede soaked it in. Those lips singing his name only made him pump faster, if he were in his right mind he would have worried the bed frame might put a dent in the wall. But he wasn’t, so he only moved with the rhythm of Tino’s desperate voice. It was clear he was reaching his limit and Berwald wasn’t far off himself.

Ramming his hips against Tino’s in a few more hard thrusts, he felt the inner walls around him tighten and the Finn’s back arch as he shook and cried out. The intense reaction made Berwald’s last movements sporadic as he came, hard, dragging on both their orgasims with a few more lazy thrusts.

Then, he simply looked down at the messy man below him again. Both of them scarlet red and sticking together from sweat. Without thinking, Berwald moved a piece of hair out of the man’s eyes.

Feeling an almost loving hand caress a damp hair from his face, Tino’s eyes darted back up at Berwald in confusion and shock. It was only evident for a second before he composed himself again and his signature smile returned. 

“It’s been a while since uh...since it’s been that good.” Tino told him, though Berwald wasn’t sure if that was true or if the Finn was just trying to earn a tip.

Berwald nodded in agreement nonetheless and slowly pulled himself out, removing the condom to dispose of it before anything else. When he returned back to the bed, Tino was sitting up and was pulling his robe back on. He grabbed the white button up shirt and handed it back to its owner. 

Berwald gave a short thank you as he began pulling it on and buttoning it back up. He situated himself the best he could, the clock on the wall reading nearly two in the morning. 

Tino stepped past him and opened the door, a cold breeze of air gusting over him and making him realize just how hot with sweat the room had been. He followed Tino out and shrugged on his coat, making sure he had everything as he headed towards the door. 

Halfway turning the knob, Berwald stopped himself and turned around, meeting eyes with the watchful beauty behind him.

“I want to see you again.” He stated simply. He wanted to see him a lot, actually, but not just like this.

Tino’s lips curled up slightly and he let out an amused huff. “Okay.” He agreed, reaching for a nearby napkin and a pen as he scribbled yet another note for him to take. “Let me know, alright, sweetheart?”

Berwald took the paper and stored it safely in his pocket with a nod, turning back towards the door again and this time taking his leave.

He made it back to his car, still warm enough to fight the chilly night air. He cranked the heat up once he sat down and immediately unfolded the napkin he had been given. This time it was a phone number, which he added into his phone along with the address, before driving away. 

~ ~ ~ 

After Berwald had left his apartment, Tino went back to his work room to clean up a bit before he went to bed. Honestly, the sex hadn’t actually been too bad, but then again he just got lucky like that sometimes. Usually it was subpar at best but he had to act the part of the screamer to keep them coming back.

He removed the sheets and turned off the light, throwing the laundry into a hamper as he passed it back to his actual bedroom. He never used his room for work. It was the one place he didn’t have to fake it or be the flirt these men wanted him to be. He could, for once, genuinely be himself in the loneliness of his own bedroom. 

He grabbed a set of sleep clothes and went off to take a quick shower before going to bed. He gambled with himself how long it would take the shy Swede to actually text him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: smut

The entire morning Berwald did nothing but stare at his phone. He had finally got a reply from Mathias, who in his usual fashion, suffocated him with questions despite dodging the ones Berwald sent his way. The Dane was adamant about finding out where he had disappeared to that night and apparently wasn’t satisfied with the answers he was getting because he announced that he was going to come over. Berwald could hardly fight him on it because Mathias would never listen, so he just accepted it and waited for his friend to arrive.

Despite this, the Swede still kept his eyes locked downward, rewriting messages to Tino over and over but never sending them. He wasn’t sure what to say. Tino had given him his number but it wasn’t in a flirting way, it was business. He was just another man on the Finn’s list of customers.

He wondered how many other people Tino had given his number to. Did it even matter? Berwald had told himself that last night would be the only time he gave into the temptation, that he was just lonely and needed one good night to get out his frustrations. 

And yet, his hands felt empty and cold when they weren’t connected to those plump hips. He envisioned what it might be like to hold the Finn’s hand and walk around with their fingers entangled. What kissing those pink lips before he left for work might feel like instead of two in the morning after handing over a fifty dollar bill. 

A loud knock on the door startled him out of his thoughts and he knew Mathias had arrived because no one else could manage to knock that obnoxiously. He got up to unlock it, trying to banish all hope that maybe Tino could be more than just someone to hold during a lonely night. 

“It’s about time!” Mathias complained, pushing past his taller friend to get into the warm house. “Now that I’m here, are you finally going to tell me what the hell happened last night?”

“I should be asking you that.” Berwald muttered in return, slowly closing his door back.

“Like hell,” Mathias pouted. “I had a few drinks and after you disappeared, I had a good time at the club. That’s what you’re supposed to do there. There isn’t much to it, Ber.” He said, plopping onto the couch.

Berwald followed and sat down beside him, ignoring the annoying way his guest propped his feet up onto his coffee table. The quiet was stale between them and he could see Mathias fidgeting with unrest and felt the eyes burning into the side of his head. It always did drive the Dane mad when Berwald would keep something from him, especially when it came to relationships and sex. 

But it wasn’t just that Mathias was nosy, though that was how most people looked at it. Berwald knew deep down that Mathias was really just wanting him to have a good time. He had tried countless times before to help him find a date or just be an excellent wingman at the bar, but usually it all fell flat with no fault of the Dane’s. 

It was worry that ate at Mathias. He was concerned because he knew that he was lonely and only wanted to help remedy that, but no matter how much he talked Berwald up or gave the best pep talk in the world, Berwald couldn’t deliver. People tended to want someone who would talk more or show more emotion or just be more _interesting_. 

Sure, Berwald had relationships before but nothing as serious as he would have liked. He wanted someone who was patient enough with him to see how hard it was for him to truly open up. Most of his past relationships had been cut short because he wouldn’t communicate but it wasn’t through his lack of trying. Berwald had begun to think he would be alone for the rest of his life but Mathias always came around to talk him out of his hurt. 

“It isn’t your fault.” The Dane would say after he was yet again rejected. “They don’t know what they’re missing. You’re a total catch! If they can’t see that you’re more than just some words and empty promises, they’re blind and not worth your time. Just because you don’t talk much doesn’t mean you don’t _feel_ ten times more than those heartless bastards ever will. And if they can’t understand that, you’re better off without them anyway.”

It was times like those that Berwald was reminded how much of a friend Mathias really was. He was loud, arrogant, and a lot of the time rather perverted, but he was nothing if not loyal and honest. He also had the habit of telling Berwald his emotions weren’t as simple as stupid words that reassured his lovers. He wanted him to know that he wasn’t a freak for being quiet or that he wasn’t a monster for always looking so serious.

Whenever Berwald questioned himself, usually with a glass of whiskey in one hand, Mathias would be there by his side. “Anyone could say anything and it won’t mean a thing, it’s just nice to hear because it gives them a false sense of security.” Mathias said one night after yet another short lived relationship. “You could tell them you love them all day long but still cheat on them that same night, and then, do it all again the next day. Just because you _said_ it doesn’t make it true, right? Yet, they still want to hear it. But that isn’t you, Ber, you’re realer than that. You already say so much more than words ever could without even saying a thing. Your actions, your eyes, they speak more than any cheesy love note ever could. And if I can see that, anyone else that really loves you will too. You don’t have to change to be happy, Berwald.” 

There was no point in arguing with Mathias and Berwald hardly ever felt up to the task during those times anyway. It was the serious side of his friend that was rarely seen by others but it was true and comforting when he needed it most. 

This was not one of those times.

“Come on, just tell me what happened.” Mathias whined, lazily draping himself over the couch in a dramatically childish way. “I saw you go to the bar and then bam! You were gone. You didn’t text me you were leaving for like another hour though so where the hell did you disappear to? It’s not like you’re easy to lose in a crowd.” He mumbled. 

Berwald wasn’t exactly hyped to admit he had a lapdance and there was no way in hell he was ever going to admit he hired a prostitute. Even he didn’t know how Mathias would handle having that information. “I went home.” He responded as if it was obvious, but the face his friend made at his answer told him he wasn’t convinced.

“Went home, huh?” Mathias said dryly, obviously not taking his word for it. “Then where was your car last night?”

Fuck. Berwald blinked and for the first time actually looked back at the other man with a questioning expression.

“Don’t give me that face. I dropped by after I left the club to see if you were alright because I thought you were super pissed or something and that’s why you left. But you weren’t home when I showed up. I thought maybe you went to a different bar to sulk so I left you alone until this morning.” He explained, scooting closer to the tall man. “So, are you going to tell me what you did last night or am I going to have to keep guessing until I get it right?”

Berwald felt a slight blush crawl over his face, making him groan and roll his eyes. He stood up to go get a drink while Mathias just laughed at him. He had the feeling this wouldn’t be the last he’d hear of this.

~ ~ ~

A week passed of Mathias hounding him about where he had been after he left the stripclub and Berwald constantly ignoring him or telling him to go back to work. He did not want their coworkers to know where they had gone or get any funny ideas about what it meant. 

He hadn’t texted Tino yet but had constantly stolen glances at his phone as if he would magically get a message from him first. He never was great at starting conversations but he knew if he ever wanted to see Tino again he would have to this time. 

It wasn’t until after saying goodbye to Mathias that Friday after work that the reality began to sink in. He did want to see Tino again, even more so, he craved it. He pulled out his phone once he got home and texted up a new message.

_“Would it be alright for me to see you tonight? - Berwald”_

Sent.

_Sent._

_Fuck!_

It was too formal, no one sent a text like that these days. He sounded like he was an old man. He pinched the bridge of his nose, silently cursing himself until he heard a ding as his phone buzzed in his hand. He froze in disbelief and fear for only a moment before quickly opening up his messages.

_“Sure :) 10pm?”_

Unbelievable, it actually worked. With shaky fingers Berwald agreed before lying his phone down and staring out into the space of his living room. He had roughly four hours before he had to meet Tino and that meant he had four hours to convince himself this wasn’t a dream.

~ ~ ~ 

Once again Berwald found himself staring up at the rundown building, illuminated by nothing but a dim streetlight. There was still no one at the welcome desk when he went inside, which he was partly glad for, so he went up the familiar, squeaky stairs to the floor he already knew. He knocked on the door and it wasn’t long before he was looking down at that smiling face inviting him in.

“Come on in,” he said, closing the door after they were both inside. “I was starting to wonder if I’d get to see you again.” 

“I was at work.” Berwald answered simply, but it was apparently enough for Tino because he nodded in understanding.

The Swede took this time to take in some more of the little apartment. From the door he stepped into a small room that was built into part of a kitchenette and a small, two seat table stood by a boring, square window on the opposite wall. The walls were faded as if it hadn’t ever been repainted and the floor was old, but at least looked as if it was cleaned as well as it could be. There was only a narrow space between the table and kitchen counters to walk through but upon doing so he was met with a doorless frame that opened up into a short hallway. Then there were three doors, only one of which he had ever seen inside of. 

He hadn’t noticed the first time around because he’d been too blinded by nerves and Tino’s beauty to really take in what was around him, but now he almost felt sorry for the Finn. Not that he didn’t before, in a way, he was a stripper and prostitute afterall and not everyone chose that life, though Tino did seem quite happy. But he didn’t have the best living conditions either, and not even just size wise. The entire building looked like it was falling apart and he doubted it had a maintenance crew or else the stairways and halls would look much better. Tino’s apartment at least looked like it was cleaned regularly and well maintained. But the overall place was shabby at best, and Berwald feared it might even be bad for his health to live here, if the state of the rest of the building was anything to go by.

He didn’t voice his concerns, however, and followed Tino into the same room as last week. He got out his wallet from his pocket, pulling out a fifty before the Finn even had a chance to ask. 

Tino looked surprised for only a moment before taking it and walking back out of the room, probably to lock the money up where his clients couldn’t see. He returned only a minute later and practically threw himself at Berwald, each of his hands on his face to pull him down for a kiss.

Berwald embraced the affection with little hesitation. Wrapping his large arms around the small body, he enveloped Tino against him, letting their tongues and their bodies mesh together. He felt arms go around his neck and instinctively he used his greater strength to lift the other man off the ground, an arm going to his upper thighs and one to his back to support him. He carried him to the bed and laid him onto it with a quick motion, crawling on top of him to resume kissing his lips. He trailed down to his pale neck, sucking and biting as he went. He heard the soft moans coming from the man under him and felt the vibrations under his lips as he pressed them against his throat. 

His hands began to wander, gripping those hips between his fingers as he grinded against him. His hands crawled up his body, lifting his shirt as his fingers explored every inch of his body.

He wasted no time pulling the Finn’s shirt off and he traced his kisses upwards, back towards his mouth to swallow up those moans emitting from the smaller male. He continued to rut against the smaller man’s waist, feeling his pants start to swell around him. 

Berwald separated from Tino, letting both of them catch their breath while he went to the drawer he remembered the lube was in last time and found the same vile. He glanced over at Tino who had moved into the center of the bed for more comfort and received a confirmation nod. He watched intently as he began buttoning his pants and was pulling them off. 

Tino threw his underwear to the floor, already half hard from the persistent rubbing Berwald had been doing against him. It was at this point that men usually jumped on him and had their way but it didn’t come. A little concerned, Tino looked up at Berwald to see what was wrong and found the Swede scanning over his body. But it wasn’t ravenish or hungry. It felt more like he was a piece of art in a museum and he was being admired by a fan.

“Heh, why are you looking at me like that?” He finally asked with a hint of humor in his voice, excepting some obscene answer but he was again fooled when that never came.

“You’re beautiful.” 

Tino’s lavender eyes widened and for the first time in a long time, he felt bashful. He shifted on the bed, unsure of how to respond so he reached his hand out for the bottle. “I’ll prepare myself again for you.” He offered.

Berwald shook his head and crawled onto the bed himself, keeping a hold of the liquid. “I want to.” 

The Finn nodded knowingly and rolled over so his face was down into the pillows but his ass was up in the air. It was easiest to do it this way and it drove most men insane to see him on display for them. Mostly though, Tino wanted to hide the light blush still staining his cheeks as he tried to understand what could have possibly made Berwald want to pay him a compliment like that.

It took a second for Berwald to comprehend the new position, admiring the lewd view from where he was kneeling behind him. He poured some of the liquid over his fingers and lined one up, his other hand gently rubbing one of the pale cheeks in a soothing way before he put it in. He waited patiently for Tino to adjust to the intrusion then slowly began pumping his finger in and out, adding another when he felt he was ready. He spread them out, easily scissoring inside him and finally adding a third digit when it was right.

He curled them every which way, feeling every shiver that shot through the other’s body. He thrusted his hand continuously until Tino suddenly jolted and let out a loud, airy gasp. Berwald was half proud of himself for actively finding his prostate and kept aiming for that spot as he pushed in harder and curled his fingers against it.

Tino was gripping the sheets in fists, unable to stop the whines from emerging from his throat. He wasn’t used to being primed over this way since most men only worried about their own pleasure, they never took the time to worry if he was enjoying himself. Berwald, however, was hitting just the right spots inside him.

But all too soon those fingers that were driving him crazy were taken out, leaving him little more than a shaking, desperate mess. He couldn’t believe he was being worked up like this.

“I’m going to put it in now.” The Swede told him, unbuttoning his pants and pushing them down enough that he could roll on a condom.

“I’m ready,” Tino moved his hips in an attempt to get some sort of friction against his sensitive skin while he waited.

Berwald didn’t need to be told twice. He lined himself up to the raised ass and easily slid in. He paused, again letting the other man get used to him. He was about to ask if he was ready for him to move when Tino began moving his hips, forcing him out and back in impatiently. He took that as his answer and thrust in time with Tino’s movements.

Berwald leaned over and gripped the bedsheet with one hand, his other remaining on Tino’s waist. The sounds emitting from the Finn’s mouth only made him move faster, ramming into him to the rhythm of his name being screamed out. He had never heard anything sweeter. Listening to it, he could feel himself drawing nearer to the edge of his limit so he quickly reached his arm under Tino to grab his swollen length and pump it in time with his thrusts. 

Tino gasped at the attention, his mind was racing a million different ways as he continued to yell out. The combined pleasure of being slammed into and stroked at the same time drove him up the wall. He clawed at the blanket in his hands as he threw his head back to cry out, unable to hold himself back anymore as he finished into the Swede’s warm hand.

Not long after, Berwald was groaning out and slowing down as his body succumbed to the satisfaction. Pulling out, the tall man ran a hand over Tino’s hair, combing it out of his face when he rolled back over. 

Confused but sated, Tino sat up carefully. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to have any work tomorrow if he was this sore already but he wouldn’t cry over it. He hardly ever had a day off so maybe this would be a nice change afterall. 

Berwald removed the condom and wiped his hand off on a nearby towel, hearing rustling on the bed as he did so. He turned back around to see Tino standing and looking flushed, but smiling as he tended to do. 

“I hope you text me again sooner than last time.” He laughed a little, pulling on his clothes to cover himself. 

Quietly, Berwald thought to himself, thinking of the best reply he could give. He definitely wanted to see Tino again but he didn’t want this kind of exchange to become a weekly routine. Not when it was nothing but a short time together. “Can I see you tomorrow?” He asked.

The smile faded from Tino’s face and was replaced by a shocked, almost confused expression. “Tomorrow?” He repeated. No one had ever asked to see him again so soon, they normally wanted to space their visits out. But Berwald nodded and left him there to answer. “I...u-uh...I don’t see why not. What time?”

“Eleven.”

“Eleven at night should be fi-”

The Swede quickly shook his head. “In the morning.” This caused yet another confused look to cross the other man’s face but Berwald didn’t elaborate further and just let it sink in. 

He didn’t usually get morning appointments. “Oh? Well, I guess I can do morning. I don’t work tomorrow until the evening so that should be fine.” He answered, heading for the door while trying to figure out what the hell was happening, between the compliments, actually enjoying himself for once, and then having the same guy wanting to see him so soon again. He wasn’t sure what to make of it yet.

Berwald nodded and followed him out, making sure he was zipped up and covered. “I will see you tomorrow.” He promised lowly before walking out of the apartment, leaving a perplexed Tino in his wake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you're all enjoy this story so far :) I'm sorry this chapter is not as well written but I couldn't bring myself to rewrite it OTL  
> Also, I promise it is going to be more than smut in the near future haha


	4. Chapter 4

When Berwald arrived home he couldn’t fall asleep. He laid there in bed wondering about the day to come with anxious, excited thoughts. He felt like he actually had a proper date for once when in reality he knew it was nothing more than another payday for Tino. These thoughts kept him up as they tugged against one another until finally the stress tired him enough to fall asleep.

The next morning he woke early to shower and get ready, dressing in a sharp button-up shirt and simple pants. He surveyed himself in the mirror, wondering if it was too boring of a look. It was the type of thing he always wore besides his work suits and sleepwear, he didn’t really wear anything too extravagant or trendy. It’s not like anything would come in his size anyway so he shrugged off his self doubt the best he could before moving on.

He stopped for a coffee once he left, knowing he’d end up pacing if he was left alone in his apartment to wait. Berwald wasn’t sure why exactly he gravitated towards a little flower shop across the parking lot but he felt the need to browse it. He finished up his drink and left the cafe he was sitting in to stride across the filling lot.

_“The Eternal Garden”_ was painted in elegant, curvy letters on an old wooden sign above the door. It was a faded green with pink cursive and accent flowers on the edges.

Berwald entered the store and instantly was assaulted with the smell of fresh flowers. He walked around them, unsure of what he was really looking for, just knowing he had the itch of wanting _something_. He had plenty to choose from however. With plants not only sitting outside the shop on a wooden display and in the window to show off their colors, inside he was completely surrounded by them as well. It felt like walking through a thick wooded area when he had to push leaves out of his face just to walk forward and felt grass caress his legs as he moved onward. 

It wasn’t awful though, the flowers were obviously cared for in a loving way. He didn’t see a single wilting plant as he searched around and they were all beautiful. His cool eyes drifted over different types of roses, tulips, daffodils, and plenty of others.

It wasn’t until he stumbled upon some curly flowers with red centers, bleeding out into the white edge with speckles of crimson to accent them. He was at them in an instant, looking them over for blemishes but found none, so he picked them up. He didn’t know why but something about them screamed his name and he had to get them.

Suddenly, a carefree laugh rang out into the small area. “I just need something special for my boyfriend.”

Berwald looked up when he heard another voice deeper into the store and decided to follow it to see if he could find the florist. He came to an opening which was apparently the checkout area and two men were chatting on either side of it. One was older and wearing an apron, which Berwald assumed was the owner. The other was a well toned man who couldn’t have been much older than twenty, sun-kissed skin and dirty blonde hair with one, stubborn piece sticking up where it parted to the side. Upon getting closer he could tell the man had glasses and sky blue eyes, much lighter, wider and more excited than his could ever be, with a wide, toothy grin to match. 

“Your partner will love these, no doubt.” The old shop owner assured with a nod.

The blonde man’s smile somehow grew even more as he set down a vase of roses on the counter and started pulling out cash from his wallet. “He’s been feeling kind of down lately, but he loves roses so I’m hoping these will cheer him up.” He was obviously hopeful and looked like he couldn’t wait to give the flowers to his boyfriend. 

He finished up his transaction, thanking the florist for his help before carefully carrying the crimson roses out of the store. It was now that the elderly man turned his attention to Berwald and welcomed him with a smile.

“Ready?” The elderly man questioned with a friendly smile, to which Berwald only nodded and placed the flowers on the wooden counter. It didn’t feel complete though and he quickly shook his head instead.

“Do you have a vase?” He found himself asking without even realizing that’s what he wanted. It must have been because that’s what the other man had.

The florist nodded and left through a door, returning just a few seconds later with a simple, clear vase filled with water. “Will this do? It’s a few dollars extra.”

Another nod of confirmation and Berwald was getting out his wallet to pay.

“This bouquet is called Snow White.” The florist informed as he busied himself on the cash register. “They’re very nice lilies. Your special someone is going to be very happy.” 

Finishing up, Berwald gave the man a low thank you before leaving the store. He had begun to lose track of time and only had a short frame left to make it to Tino’s on time. He made sure the flowers were safely tucked in his car so they wouldn’t topple over before driving away, careful whenever he turned so he wouldn’t ruin his gift.

~ ~ ~ 

Why the hell he thought getting a stripper a vase of flowers was beyond his current comprehension. No one in their right minds show up with a bouquet at a prostitutes house, yet here he was. Standing outside of Tino’s apartment door a few minutes after eleven with flowers in his hands, waiting for the shorter man to answer his knock. He hoped Tino hadn’t been waiting on him or thought he had ditched because he was a little late.

That fear was eased away when that honeyed smile emerged as the door opened, though it didn’t last as it changed to shock when his face met with flowers. His eyes glistened violet as he stared at the floral arrangement before up at Berwald with a perplexed stare.

He swallowed seeing those curious eyes watch him, waiting for an answer to the obvious question. He pushed the flowers out more towards Tino, urging him to take them, becoming acutely aware that he was starting to blush. “For you. I thought your kitchen needed something.” 

Great. Just great, now he sounded like a complete ass. Something for your kitchen? He made it sound like his apartment was ugly. Berwald wanted to yell at himself for being an idiot but like before, Tino stopped him from beating himself up too much.

The Finn stared up at him for another few moments before slowly reaching up to take the gift that was being offered to him, bringing them to his nose and taking in a large breath of air as he smelled them. The view was serene, like a calm swept over the smaller blonde from just one sniff.

“They’re beautiful, Berwald.” He told him. “Thank you.” He turned around and prestienly placed them on his little, two-seat table, admiring them again while Berwald followed him in and shut the door behind him.

“They reminded me of you.” Which was true, even if it hadn’t been actively, Berwald knew going into the flower shop he was going in for Tino. 

The Finn was shocked at the gift but took them nonetheless. He had been given presents before from ‘fans’ at the club or clients that came to his house but nothing like this. It was always things he’d never actually want, it was always things _they_ wanted him to have for _their_ pleasure. One man might give him lingerie, another a dildo, and another flavored lube. No matter what, he always ended up throwing these things away. He didn’t want them. It was never anything out of actual appreciation or had any real thought behind it other than to get off to it. These though, Tino adored these flowers from Berwald. He just wasn’t sure why he was given them or what it was supposed to mean. He was worried the Swede might be expecting something that Tino couldn’t give him.

“So,” he said, eyes resting on the petals. “Ready to go back to the bed?”

It was weird to have an appointment so early in the morning and so soon after the last, but it wouldn’t be the strangest thing he’d been asked to do and surely wouldn’t be the last either. 

“No.” Berwald replied. “Was going to take you out to lunch. I’ll pay.”

At this, the Finn turned back towards him, but his smile was gone. He almost looked sad, and the face made the Swede’s heart ache. “Ber...” the man started softly, the nickname easing out of his lips as if he’d said it a million times pior. “I love the flowers, I really do. But...you know this isn’t...we aren’t in a relationship. We can’t go out on a date. I’m a service-”

“Not a date,” The Swede corrected, though the words left a bitter taste on his tongue. “Just to say thank you. I’ll pay for the food.” He said again, pulling out his wallet and thumbing through the bills in it. “And for your service.” He outstretched his hand, offering Tino two green bills.

His eyes widened at the sight of them. It was two hundred dollars just being handed over to him like it was nothing. That was way over the normal pay rate of fifty. “Berwald...what are you doing?” He had to ask. This couldn’t be right. He was being set up or tricked, there was just no way.

“I figured if fifty dollars gets me an hour here, then two hundred might give be enough to take you out.” He explained, arm unwavering until the bills were slowly taken from his hand.

Tino was speechless, no one had ever, _ever_ even talked about taking him out. He wasn’t sure if it was actually due to interest in him or if this was just one of those situations of keeping someone who was lonely company for payment. A sugar daddy, people called it. He figured it must have been the latter because Berwald didn’t seem like he was genuinely interested. Even if he was, there was no way he would follow through with the feelings because, if the nice way he was always dressed and the money he kept handing over were anything to go by, then he had a pretty good job. No one in such a position would ever settle for a whore. He was just an object to pass the time and nothing more.

The Finn swallowed as he stared at the bills in his hands as if they were talking back at him, conflicting him on what to do. He tried to imagine every possible scenario that could happen if he agreed to this. He could be kidnapped, murdered, any number of horrible things could happen. Though Berwald didn’t act the type to do something like that. He was quiet sure, and probably very intimidating to people who weren’t used to sketchy people everyday like he was, but after so long of doing this Tino got good at reading people and Berwald was not, from what he could tell, one of the bad ones.

Finally, he decided on an answer after what felt like an eternity of tense silence between them. “I’ve never done anything like this before.” He admitted quietly, still unsure of the whole situation. But what could it hurt? It gave him an extra one hundred and fifty dollars which wasn’t easy to come by in his line of work. “Just give me a minute to get ready.” He told the Swede as he turned around and vanished into the other room.

Berwald nodded and was quiet while he waited for the other man to return. He took in more of his surroundings but couldn’t shake the feeling that seeing a gift from him in Tino’s home just felt _right_. 

He looked over when the shorter man entered the room again. He had changed into a simple T-shirt and some jeans but Berwald thought he looked angelic. He didn’t voice this however and headed back towards the door. “Ready?” He asked, since he knew the other had to work later he wanted to get to this as soon as possible.

“I’m ready.” Tino followed Berwald out of the door and to the parking lot without a word. They made it to the cars and was slightly impressed by the one the Swede led them to, it was new and well maintained, not to mention it looked expensive. His earlier thoughts of Berwald having a good job only being confirmed further.

He didn’t expect the tall blonde to stride over to the passenger side and open the door for him but he did and Tino slid into the seat with a soft thanks. He waited for Berwald to walk over to the other side of the vehicle and get into the driver’s side, still without saying a thing. After the car was started and they were headed down the road, the air was starting to feel rather hot with awkward silence, making the Finn twiddle his thumbs anxiously.

“So,” he began, tearing a hole in the stale mood. “Where are we going?” It was a simple enough question but it would answer a few questions and possibly start a conversation.

“Get lunch.” 

Tino’s hopes for an actual discussion crumbed to dust with that vague response and he gathered that that was all he was going to get for now. “Oh, okay.” He settled, as he turned his attention outside his window, watching the cars and buildings go by as they passed. If he was right about one thing it was that the Swede was a very quiet man, nice so far, but not much of a talker.

“Is Italian alright?” 

Tino wasn’t sure if he was hearing things because when he turned back over to face Berwald, the tall man was still glaring out the windshield as if nothing had been brought up.

“Excuse me?” Tino tried, just in case Berwald hadn’t actually said anything and he was just going crazy.

“Do you like Italian? If not, we can go somewhere else.” The tall blonde reiterated, eyes unwavering from their spot on the road ahead. 

Tino furrowed his brows as his eyes washed over Berwald’s form with more consideration. He was gripping the steering wheel a bit tight, almost enough to turn his knuckles white. He was stubbornly focused on the traffic in front of them, which was good for safety, but considering they were stopped at a light, most people would relax some and at least glance at their passenger. In fact, his entire body was stiff, like he was afraid to move an inch. That was when it dawned on him. Berwald wasn’t unhappy, he was really nervous. Even if this wasn’t a date, the Swede was putting time, effort, and money into it, so he obviously wanted this, whatever it was, to work out. Something about that was endearing to Tino and made his face flush slightly.

Berwald made a noise that sounded closest to an uncomfortable cough, making Tino realize he had never replied and had just been staring at him this whole time.

“O-Oh, god, Berwald I’m so sorry. I just got lost in thought for a second.” He excused quickly. He must have made the other man very self conscious just eyeing him like that. “Italian is a great idea.”He finally answered, going back to look out his window before he made an even bigger fool out of himself. 

He wasn’t used to seeing his customers outside of intimate times, so he wasn’t sure how to act. In the bedroom he could be anything his client asked for, he could say or do anything and it wouldn’t mean a thing, but sitting in a dead silent car with a man was nowhere near the same scenario. He wasn’t playing the act of the cheap play thing here, he was actually being treated like another person. Something that, he was coming to realize, hadn’t happened in a while.

The energy between them was even denser than before now, but with Tino realizing how much Berwald just wanted to make a good impression and that the man was really just quite shy, he felt easier about going out with him. So, he tried a second attempt at conversation. Even if Berwald didn’t talk much it was still more than Tino usually had outside of work.

“You know, I always loved lilies. They’re my favorite flower. How’d you know?” He asked. He did wonder what made Berwald think to get him such a thing, not that he didn’t like the gift, he loved them, actually. He always had a soft spot for lilies, maybe they just reminded him of home, but they were beautiful. 

Berwald eased up only a little, but hearing that he somehow picked out the right kind of flowers was a huge relief. “I saw them and thought of you.” Which was actually the long and the short of it. There was no other explanation other than he thought Tino might like them and it sounded like he guessed right. 

A small laugh escaped Tino’s lips and Berwald swore he felt his heart jump in his chest as the sound. 

“They’re gorgeous. Thank you again for them.” The Finn said, receiving only a short nod in response, but he was beginning to learn that that wasn’t a bad thing and that it was just how Berwald was.

It wasn’t as awkward as it was before now that he knew nothing was wrong so he kept a smile on his face as he continued on. “What made you come to the club last week, Berwald? You didn’t look like you really wanted to be there so I can’t imagine you went on your own.” He hadn’t seen him with anyone else but it was always possible whoever he went with bailed or was getting a private dance.

“My friend dragged me. Said I needed a night out since I usually spend mine alone.” The Swede explained. 

“Oh, does your friend go there often?” Tino asked. It wasn’t uncommon for friends to visit the club together and get favors from the same dancers, but with how personal Berwald was being about this whole thing it might be more awkward if Tino had ended up giving his friend a dance as well. 

But a shake of the head told Tino he probably didn’t need to worry about that and he relaxed a little more. “Are you planning on coming back to the club soon?” He asked instead. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to make a regular out of Berwald but if he came in every now and then, Tino couldn’t say he’d be disappointed. 

The question, however, floated in the air without a response and Tino turned his gaze back over to Berwald to figure out why. The tall man looked like he was in thought and was unsure how to answer. 

“I wouldn’t...hate it. If you don’t mind.” Honestly, Berwald hadn’t thought about going back to the club much, he was much more interested in going straight to Tino’s apartment but after thinking it over he wouldn’t mind seeing the Finn on the pole more either.

Another laugh echoed from Tino at that, since most people didn’t bother to ask the stripper if they minded them coming to watch the show. “Of course I wouldn’t mind, Ber.” It wouldn’t mean anything except another pair of eyes on his body and a few extra dollars in his pocket at the end of the night. Not to mention, he wouldn’t mind giving him more dances since he already knew Berwald wouldn’t go crazy when they were alone. 

“Mm.” The tall man hummed lowly, turning off the road and into the parking lot of a restaurant Tino had never been to before. He parked the car and met the Finn at the front of his car before walking with him to the building, holding the door open for him and walking in after him. 

They ended up at a table for two beside a window and giving their drink orders to a bubbly, auburn haired man whose accent hinted that he was actually Italian. After the waiter left, Tino became acutely aware that this felt more and more like a date than not. Even though they agreed it wasn’t, that didn’t stop everyone around them from seeing it that way and there was power in the opinions of others.

He busied himself by scanning the menu for what to eat, trying to find something good that wasn’t too expensive. The restaurant, thankfully, wasn’t super fancy and was a warm, little place that would be good for casual eating. It was new from what he could tell and the food smelt good already so he was excited to try it. 

A couple minutes passed until the smiley man returned by their side with their drinks, setting them down accordingly, before taking out a notepad. 

“Ready to order?” He asked, looking between them as he waited for one of them to speak out.

Tino was hesitant to go first but smiled back at the tan man and pointed down to his menu. “I’ll take this one, please.” He requested, getting a nod in response.

Berwald did the same and soon they were alone again. Unsure of what to say, Tino played with his fork between his fingers. The awkwardness had returned tenfold now that they were in the presence of other people and it wasn’t just them listening to the roll of the car. Now they were expected to make conversation but what was there to really talk about with one of his customers?

“So,” Tino began, breaking the quiet. “What do you do for a living?” It was a casual enough question he figured and one to get the ball rolling. Plus, he was a little curious since Berwald apparently had some money to his name.

“I work in the financial department of a realtor company. It’s nothing exciting.” Berwald said. No one wanted to listen to him talk about paperwork and charts. 

Tino though put his elbows on the table and rested his head in his hands, giving his full attention to the Swede across from him. “It is obviously better than what I’m doing.” It had a hint of sad humor in it, but it was true and Tino knew it. That’s why he would never consider something like this an actual date, no one would ever want to date him after knowing what he does and no one should. 

“You’re good at what you do.” The taller man told him, earning a small smile.

“Thank you, it’s not something most people are very proud of though.” The blonde said. “Even you, I’m sure you haven’t told anyone about me.” 

Berwald stared at the smile curving Tino’s lips, trying to read the gloom behind it. There was something off about the gentle grin, like it was filled with pity. It felt wrong to have anything but happiness on those soft features.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up.” He excused, genuinely apologetic. He just didn’t want to see that sadness in those violet eyes ever again. “We don’t have to talk about it.”

This seemed to ease the Finn some as he returned to his normal, happy smile. “It’s alright. I don’t really mind.” He said, looking up into the other man’s blue eyes. They were dark and reminded him of the ocean on a cool day, yet they didn’t seem as cold as when they first met. It was starting to feel like the more he peered into them the warmer they got without having to change at all. “But, anyway,” he changed quickly before he went too deep into his own thoughts. “What do you do for fun then? Other than look at numbers and spend time with me.” He nudged his foot against Berwald’s leg in a playful way under the table, watching the way it made the tall man’s cheeks turn pink.

“Read, mostly.” The Swede admitted. He kind of felt more boring than usual, since Tino was looking at him like he expected some marvelous answer and instead he was given something much more disappointing. 

But like always, Tino made him feel like less of a loser. “I used to like reading, but I don’t have much time anymore.” He sighed. “But maybe I can borrow a book or two and get back into it?”

Berwald nodded, a little shocked that the other even asked, even if it was just him being polite. 

The Finn giggled and continued. “I trust you to pick something good out for me then.” He grinned, twirling the straw in his drink idly. “What’s your favorite thing to do then?” He continued on, just trying to keep the conversation alive and learn a little more. Not that it meant much, they couldn’t grow to be more than casual sex partners, but it still felt good to spend time with someone outside of work.

Berwald wasn’t sure how to answer this one at first, taking a few moments to collet his thoughts. He hadn’t really thought about it in a while but there was one thing he really enjoyed. “I like to go to the mountains and spend time in the forest when I can. I haven’t done it in a long time though, work piles up too quickly.” It was nice to get away and relax sometimes but unfortunately it wasn’t something he could often do. 

Tino perked up at this, as if surprised. “Really? That sounds amazing. I bet it’s beautiful where you go. I haven’t gone camping, or anywhere like that, in a long, long time.” He told him. “Would you mind telling me about it? Where you like to go and what you do?”

The Swede was again surprised by Tino’s apparent interest in what he had to say. No one had ever really cared to listen before, not that he had much to say, but he was so rarely given the chance either. But he agreed, finding something appealing in the way Tino kept his eyes on him and nodded along with him like he was taking in every word. His face was something new, something childishly curious, with a hint of wishfulness. Berwald guessed Tino was imagining what he was describing and wanting to be there.

Not long after their food arrived, the happy Italian leaving them to themselves and only returning to check up on them and refill their drinks. Their conversation flowed easier now that it started, going from Berwald describing his last camping trip with Mathias, to his favorite books, to saying how good the food was. It lasted much longer than Berwald ever expected it to but he was happy to find out Tino had an affinity to sweets after offering to buy him a dessert and watching the Finn light up at the suggestion. 

Nearly two hours later and they were back in the car, driving towards Tino’s apartment with a more familiar energy between them. Berwald loved being able to glance over and just see the smile on the smaller man’s lips. 

They arrived back at the apartments, where Tino turned down Berwald’s offer to walk him back up because he had already done enough for the day. The Finn did, however, lean over and plant a small kiss on the Swede’s cheek. 

“Thank you for today, it was a lot of fun.” 

And with that the short man was climbing out of the car and heading back into the building, turning around only to smile and wave goodbye before disappearing completely. 

Berwald still sat there in awe of what just happened for a couple minutes longer after the other disappeared, his cheek warm with remembrance. 

~ ~ ~

Later that night, Tino went to the stripclub per usual. He dressed in a red and white outfit, put on his Santa hat, and greeted the excited shouting as the announcer called “Santa’s Helper” onto the stage. 

He skipped out and grabbed the pole, his body moving down it from pure reflex, but his eyes scan out into the building around him. But when Tino looked out into the crowd and didn’t see the brooding Swede in the many sweaty faces, he tried to ignore the small twinge in his chest that stung like he’d just been insulted. It felt like he was almost disappointed.

He finished his act and made it to the back of the stage again, walking to his room and pulled out his phone. He knew he’d have to go back out onto the floor and find a man who wanted a dance of their own but right now he wanted to get this done first. For some reason, he felt he should, so he typed in Berwald’s name and typed him a new message.

_“There’s going to be a special show tomorrow night at 9, you might want to come see it ;)”_

He sent it and put his phone back into the drawer, turning to go back into the crowd.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: abuse & some sexual content but it isn't too bad

The next day started off fairly normal for Tino. He woke up and automatically checked his phone before even thinking about exiting his bed. His lilac eyes were met with a blank screen with nothing but his usual wallpaper glaring back at him. He sighed and threw the item back onto the sheets, lazily dragging himself up and out of the warm embrace of the blankets in favor of making a cup of coffee.

He thought Berwald would at least reply to his text from last night but apparently the man wasn’t interested. Not that it mattered, they were sure to have a full house even without the Swede there, but Tino couldn’t deny he was a little disappointed. If anything, he knew Berwald was nice enough and so he’d be an easy target to grab. Maybe he had just gotten tired of him already? Or he hadn’t liked their time in the restaurant yesterday? In the end, he guessed it didn’t matter, though the feeling that could only be described as being let down was still lingering there. 

He decided he didn’t want to go out today so his lazy pajama pants and a T-shirt would be good enough to wear around until he had to work this evening. He sipped the hot coffee he’d made while sitting at his small, raggedy table and staring out the window to the dirty parking lot. 

He noted that the sky was dark with grey and it was misty, but not quite raining. It was a soothing feeling just watching the clouds roll slowly away. He always liked this type of weather, but today it could hardly keep his attention for very long. 

Again, his gaze shifted over to the flowers that brought life to his apartment. Their scent was faint behind the stench of coffee but it was there nonetheless. They really were very nice and he wondered how Berwald knew he liked lilies so well. He chalked it up to nothing but good luck on the Swede’s part or he had actually noticed, and remembered, the picture of one on his door at the club. Either way, Tino adored them.

He loved the smell and look of them, they were peaceful and gentle. They represented something he could never truly have, but having them here gave him the false sense of being actually cared for. For a moment he could imagine his significant other had brought them to him out of love, spontaneously bringing them in with the intent to bring him joy, or to celebrate so many years together. But this would never come to fruition and Tino knew this, so he would have to settle for his dreams dipped in regret and wondering what could have been.

He wasn’t sure when he had begun to lean onto the table, chin resting in his palm, or how long he sat there staring at the white and red petals, gently brushing his fingers against them to feel the soft surface. He had long finished his coffee and was breathing in the scents as the aroma of the flowers began to overtake the room again. It floated in the air and made his home feel not as stale and horrible as it was.

A familiar knocking from the door behind him woke him from his trance and he lifted himself from the table tiredly. The knock came again as he instinctively turned on his heel and turned the knob without a second thought.

“Hello, my little snowflake.” 

Tino tried not to grimace at the face peering down at him. His landlord was tall enough to rival Berwald’s height easily. Unlike the Swede, however, the Russian perpetually wore a smile on his features. It wasn’t a comforting characteristic though, and instead it made Tino feel like he was vulnerable and weak. 

“Hello, Ivan. What are you doing here?” It was an empty question. Tino knew the only reason Ivan ever came to visit him.

A low chuckle resinated from the scarfed man as he pushed his way past Tino and into his apartment. “I just wanted to come over and check up on you, is that so wrong of me?” He asked, ignoring the way Tino knowingly closed his door behind him.

“I suppose not. But you usually don’t come over this early.” Came the careful reply.

Another small laugh escaped his guest as he glanced around the room with fake interest. Tino could tell Ivan was just buying time, he always liked to. It gave him enough time to properly pollute the area around him with a tense, heavy feeling of dread. It was starting to weigh on Tino already.

The Russian’s eyes lit up as he caught sight of the flowers on the table beside him and Tino felt his heart sink at the realization. He watched his landlord glide over to them, humming a song as he picked them up and turned the vase around in his hands as if inspecting the blooms for imperfections. He set it back down after apparently finding nothing wrong with them but his eyes still remained on their pale petals.

“You don’t usually have flowers in here.” Ivan noted thoughtfully.

Tino shifted on his feet. A nervous habit he couldn’t help. “I thought they’d look nice there.” 

“Mm,” finally the taller blonde pulled his eyes away from the lilies and back towards Tino, smile unwavering. “It wouldn’t have to do with the fact they’re from that new man you’ve been seeing then?”

A lump caught in Tino’s throat as he thought of what to say. Ivan didn’t usually care who he brought home to sleep with him, since it was how he got his money for rent. “He’s just a customer.” He finally settled, though the unwavering eyes bearing down on him were no comfort.

“A customer that brought you flowers and then took you on a date, I can only assume.” Ivan elaborated, stepping closer to the Finn who was stuck in place as if he’d been frozen solid. 

Tino wasn’t sure where Ivan was going with this but he knew that bastard’s smile and did not like it. “He’s a nice man is all. He wanted to buy me food to thank me for my services. He even paid me to go, otherwise I wouldn’t have went at all.” He corrected cautiously. “It wasn’t a date, just another pay day.”

“Is that so?” Ivan was mere inches away from Tino now, his eyes still searching for something that the Finn couldn’t read. “How much did he give you?”

For the first time, Tino spared a confused look. “What?” He wasn’t sure why Ivan would be asking him that.

“How much did that man give you to go out with him?” He repeated, more force on his tongue this time, his smile doing a poor job of covering up the impatience in his eyes. 

Tino was hesitant to answer, still confused as to why the other wanted to know, but felt it was in his best interest to be honest. “Two hundred dollars up front, then he paid for my meal as well.”

Ivan was even closer now, just barely brushing up against him. He could see the Russian’s nostrils flaring in agitation as he stared down at him as if expecting more of an explanation, but it never came. 

“That’s good.” He voiced suddenly, breaking the silence between them. “You still owe me rent money.”

At this, Tino gawked and where he had been trying to look unintimidated, he turned confused and worried. “My rent isn’t due until next week.” He argued, not wanting to get hustled out of the extra couple hundred he managed to get this month. It was rare to have any extra cash after paying all his bills and if he could keep some for himself he would.

This must have been the reaction Ivan expected because his smile grew wider, spreading into a dark grin. “This is true, snowflake.” He said gruffly, one of his hands rising to cup the side of the Finn’s face and the other taking a place on his hip, squeezing it too tightly and forcing the Finn to twist in order to avoid the pain. “But I haven’t gotten all of my payment for last month yet.” He continued, hands never removing themselves despite the clear discomfort they brought the other. “I’ve been very lenient with you. Letting you whore yourself out under my roof. Do you know how easy it would be to call the police and have you taken in? But I don’t want to do that to you, my dear.” The hand on his cheek trailed down to his neck and across his chest until it took refuge on the other hip. He gripped the Finn’s sides with practiced force. “And how do you thank me? By constantly giving me my rent money late, month after month. Does that seem fair to you? That I keep getting taken advantage of this way?”

Tino squirmed slightly, trying to get the fingers digging into his skin to ease up on him. “I’m sorry, I should have enough saved up in my room now. Just let me go get it and you can have it.” He reasoned.

But the grip of his hips only tightened, making him curve in on himself in pain. 

“Don’t bother. It’s too late to give me the money after all.” The Russian told him, watching as the man in his grasp squirmed. “You just have to pay me back for all my trouble and I’ll forget last month’s rent.” He pulled the smaller man against him, so he could rub his lower half against him and get some friction in his pants. 

There was no point in trying to worm his way out of the hands that had him, Ivan was much bigger than him and he was far stronger. Something he had proven many times before. “J-Just let me get you the money, I’m too tired to do this today.” It wasn’t the first time Ivan came barrelling into his apartment wanting him to ‘pay him back’ without money. It became routine that the Russian had his way with him whenever he wanted in exchange for his silence about his profession. All Tino had to do was lay back and let Ivan do as he pleased and he’d have the rickedy safety of believing he wouldn’t be ratted out.

He had stopped trying to refuse the advances early on, after he had ended up with a particularly painful black eye and a few of his belongings broken. He would instead be held down on his work bed, finding it easier to just accept the intrusion into his body willingly and quietly, rather than being bruised for fighting it. 

But something in him made him feel sick at the thought of being on his back for Ivan today. “I have to work tonight, so I can’t be sore for it. Maybe afterwards.” He offered the empty promise.

Tino looked up at Ivan again to gage how poorly he’d take the rejection and saw the smile had utterly fallen away from his face. The other man was staring at him in disbelief, as if he were trying to figure out a way the words he’d just been told didn’t mean what they obviously did. 

In an instant, the grip on his hips had eased but the relief was short lived. The pain was replaced by a panicked gasp as Ivan instead clutched the underside of Tino’s chin, forcing him to look up and stare him in the eye. Raising his head and making the smaller man stand on his toes to ease the agonizing way his neck was being forced to crane.

“How dare you tell me no.” Ivan growled, his earlier fasacade of innocence being shattered as a hostile sneer was placed onto his features instead. “If it wasn’t for me you’d be dead, you ungrateful brat.” He used his superior strength to push Tino towards the table, throwing him against it and making the vase there wobble and fall over.

Instinctively, Tino went to reach for the flowers to keep the water from spilling out and making an even bigger mess, but the larger man pinned him down and nestled himself between his legs. This time, Tino found a hand on his throat, making it hard to breathe as Ivan loomed over him. 

“It’s because of that fucking man, isn’t it? Do you like him? He keeps coming over and now you’re going out to eat with him. You’re trying to get away.” He accused, not giving Tino a chance to defend himself. “But you’ll learn,” he snarled, pressing harder against the Finn. “No one will ever want a whore like you and you’ll die alone like you deserve. You’ll never be anything but a cheap plaything and he knows it.”

It was getting harder to breathe the longer Ivan held his grip against his throat, making Tino start to gasp for air and in a desperate plea for forgiveness, tears began to well up in his eyes to speak the words he couldn’t say. To beg for this to stop. 

“He’ll break your heart after he’s bored of fucking you and you’ll be right back here, alone, with Mary’s Tears like you always are.” The Russian continued, the hand not connected to the Finn’s neck reached over and smacked the vase of flowers off the table with a loud, startling cry of breaking glass. “Don’t you ever tell me no again or I will kill you.” 

And with that, Tino was flung off the table himself and onto the floor, finally allowed to take in a sharp gasp, his lungs burning from lack of air and they hungrily took in as much as they could once the fist was removed from his throat. The Finn rolled over to his side to get an easier angle to cough as Ivan quietly stepped away from him. 

He was faintly aware through his startled gasps for air that the Russian had stomped out of his apartment and left him alone on the cold floor. He shivered and slowly started to get up before pain shot through his arm and hands. He looked down and through his blurry vision, could just make out that glass was lodged into his palms and part of his arm where he had landed on the floor.

Staring down at the hazy colors through his tears, it was hard to distinguish whether the white and red was from the lilies that lay tossed on the tile floor or his own bloody skin.

~ ~ ~ 

Later that afternoon, Tino had decided to go into work early to see some of his fellow dancers and friends. He walked to the room of the closest friend he’d ever had. He knocked politely before hearing a muffled reply from the inside and he opened it to reveal three men already there.

One, his best friend, a blonde by the name of Lukas. He was much quieter and his constant, emotionless expression reminded him slightly of a certain Swede, but he’d keep that to himself. 

The other two he was also familiar with. One was Vlad, the man was very close to Lukas as well and had a hint of darkness and danger to him that kept men coming back. The other was Arthur, who was a newer dancer amongst them but quickly made himself known. 

They welcomed the Finn into the room with no complaints. 

“How are you, Tino?” Lukas asked, rising from his seat in greeting when he realized the soluem look his friend held. The emotionless blonde was a master at reading others and Tino had been his friend for a long time, meaning he knew when something was wrong. “What happened?” He eyed the newly made cuts on his skin and the dark marks forming around his neck.

“Nothing.” Tino excused quickly, knowing the other knew better. But he didn’t need much explanation. It was obvious who did it. “I need makeup for tonight to cover these bruises. Can I borrow some? I’m all out.” 

“Of course,” Lukas answered, going to his dresser in the corner and rummaging through it. It wasn’t uncommon for them to wear a little makeup to cover up blemishes or things like this. In their line of work it wasn’t too rare for someone to get bruises so they would need to be covered up. Of course there were men who just liked to wear it, like Feliks, who always wore a face full of makeup for shows.

Tino thanked his friend when he was handed the makeup and proceeded to apply some in the mirror. “So, Arthur,” he began, wanting to strike up a conversation with the Brit who was smoking in the corner. “How’s Alfred been?”

They all knew that Arthur’s boyfriend didn’t know about his choice in profession, but the couple had been need of money and the Brit had taken it upon himself to get it by any means necessary. That included going behind his boyfriend’s back to become a stripper. The secrecy was creating a harsh rifts in their relationship, however.

The shaggy haired blonde took a long drag of his cigarette, rolling the smoke from his lips before answering. “He’s doing alright.” He settled. “Things haven’t really changed.”

That wasn’t a surprise to anyone. They had never met Alfred but just from what they had been told about him he was nice enough and the two were obviously in love. But with money being tight, more fights broke out than usual and words were said that couldn’t be taken back. 

“He bought me roses yesterday.” The British man added, making the other three glance up at him. “He left a note with it too, telling me how much he missed me when I was working and that he loved me. He’s so sweet and perfect, and knows just how to make me feel like shit.” The words were laced with sadness but the blonde apparently had no interest in continuing because he went back to smoking his cigarette without another word. 

It wasn’t needed anyway, the others already knew. Alfred didn’t mean to make Arthur feel bad, but he was unknowingly making Arthur feel even worse about keeping secrets and going behind his back about being an exotic dancer. But Arthur was doing it for their relationship so he couldn’t stop yet, even if it hurt to lie to his loving and supportive boyfriend.

Not much else was said besides casual chatting until the show was about to begin. Tino checked his phone one last time but there was still no reply from the ominous Swede so he guessed he would just have to find a new man to take home. 

Back in his own room, he dressed up in his revealing outfit as normal and made sure the makeup covered the bruises the best it could. It would be good enough for on stage, the bright lights and constant movement would be enough to effectively hide the fact he had on any makeup at all and chances were whoever he brought back to his room would be too drunk on alcohol or lust to even care.

Still, he couldn’t help but stare at the chalky surface of his throat, eyeing the hints of purple underneath. He looked himself over, bruised neck, cut hands and part of his arm that was also hiding under concealer, and no modesty in his velvet lingerie. A flitter of sadness flashed through him at the sight of himself and he decided not to in the mirror anymore because he didn’t like what he saw. The words Ivan had uttered before still burning on his skin.

Instead, he grabbed some money off his counter and marched towards another dancer’s room, taking a quick few glances to make sure no one else was around, he knocked softly and a Chinese man answered the door. “Yao, are you free?” He asked, stepping inside once the other moved out of the way. After the door was closed, the Finn was all but on his knees. 

“Please,” he said quietly. Despite the door being closed he was afraid someone might hear. Most namely Lukas. “Please, tell me you have it. I brought the money.” He offered the crumpled bills in his hand to the shorter man in hopes of getting a positive response. 

“What exactly do you want?” Yao asked, gladly taking the green from the Finn and storing it in his lockbox. 

“You know what I want, Yao.” The Finn huffed impatiently. He didn’t want to say it outloud. “Mary’s Tears.”

The Asian man nodded and turned away, moving to a different box beside his normal lockbox and pulling out a small bag. It looked like a gift bag, red and with a bow on the side. It was for discretion, to trick others into thinking it was just another lewd gift from a patron. But one quick glance in the bag and Tino gave a sigh of relief, thanking the other before hurrying back to his own room and hiding his ‘gift’ in one of his drawers. He avoided looking in the mirror until it was time to go on stage.

Shortly after, the show started at nine o’clock sharp, where Tino and Lukas were herded onto the stage by the sound of upbeat music. They walked out from behind the curtain to greet the many faces of men hollering back at them. It was easy to show off just by walking, pushing his hips out ever so slightly, in a way that exaggerated them and make the men yell more. 

This time, Tino and Lukas both went up to the pole in the middle, where together their bodies intertwined and danced in unison. Tino ran his hands down his friend’s chest, Lukas pulled Tino close and made a show out of the hands that grabbed his backside. 

It was an act to them and nothing more, they had done it many times before. But it still drove the men in the crowd wild to see the two strippers groping and rubbing against one another like they were. 

At one point, Tino expertly spread his legs and let Lukas between them, pushing him against the pole and embracing the other. Another move had Tino with his back on the stage and Lukas’s head between his pale thighs as they theatrically arched the Finn’s back off the ground so the Norwegian had no choice but to follow his movements. 

After thoroughly teasing the men in the crowd, the two blondes dramatically finished their performance by sliding out two chairs to the middle of the stage. For the first time this evening, Tino really took a glance out into the crowd. This was part of the act, however, as both of the dancers were scanning over the excited faces for someone to bring up onto the stage. The men crowded around them yelled, all wanting to be picked to come up with them and join in on the erotic experience. 

Sweaty faces and beards mashed together of all the men, none looked very interesting to Tino. It was custom to choose someone from the front, since it was just easiest to get someone close up onto the stage and they were usually the most excited for the opportunity as well. But, he spared a quick peek towards the darker area out into the building where men were sitting and watching or drinking alcohol instead of waving their money around, and he felt himself falter in his search.

No one could fake that deathly stare, even in the dimmer light, Tino could recognize the tall figure back near the bar. He looked like he was drinking something and was accompanied by someone else that Tino didn’t know. 

Without thinking, he pointed to the blonde all the way in the corner and put on his fake smile from pure instinct. “You! How would you like a dance?” He called out, making himself heard, and all the faces around him turned to look in curiosity and jealousy. 

Even Lukas’s gaze followed his friend’s finger and he stared in confusion before pointing his own finger at the duo. “And bring your friend.” His voice was characteristically less excited, but held a more manly undertone to it. 

At this, the the one who was sitting with the tall blonde seemed to realize they were calling for them and jumped up and cheered, practically pushing his hesitant friend towards the stage where bodyguards let them up the steps into the bright light. 

Tino watched quietly the entire time, his lavender eyes not leaving the taller of the two until Berwald was right in front of him, staring right back at him. His face was as stern as ever and unmoving, but his cheeks were stained red and he was visibly sweating from embarrassment already. Tino expertly set him in one of the two chairs while Lukas placed his more enthusiastic friend in the other. 

As curious as he was about the Swede’s friend, Tino knew he still had a job to do, and promptly moved his body along with the new music that had started up. In sync, Tino and Lukas had crawled onto the laps of the two men and were moving their bodies in rhythm with the beat. It started off slow, as the strippers pushed themselves against the bigger men and ran their hands down their shoulders to start things off. 

The music grew quicker and the sweaty bodies grinding down on stage were no different. When the beat changed, they lept off the others’ laps and instead rested themselves between their legs, faces teasingly close to their pants lines while their own legs were spread wide to show off to the men still crowded around them. They slithered up the length of the two, one hand placed on the growing bulge in their pants and the other running a hand over their hair. 

Tino was focused solely on Berwald, catching his blue eyes everytime he got the chance and trying to read what was behind them. He didn’t think the other would come tonight, if his lack of texts had told him anything. He might not even want to be on stage right now, though his pants were telling him otherwise.

The Finn still tried to figure out what to say to him later when he routinely turned around, so he was pushing himself against Berwald from behind and dropping his body against his lap the same way Lukas was doing to his friend, still mirroring one another. 

It felt oddly familiar to feel the Swede’s warmth beneath him like this, and like always the tall man didn’t push his limits and took the treatment without trying to grab him or otherwise get himself in trouble. 

Tino was back on his lap again, facing him, with his legs thrown over his broad shoulders so his legs were open to him in a way that finally made the Swede lose his stoic composer and a low groan escaped his mouth before he could stop it. It made Tino grin hearing Berwald’s strong reaction. A quick glance over and the smaller blonde could see Lukas’s client was in nearly the same, lust blinded state as his own.

The act ended with Berwald and his friend having their hands on their respective dancer’s ass while Tino and Lukas bent down in front of them, backsides presented dramatically to the guests on stage while their faces were low to the ground, showing off the flexibility of both dancers, while finally giving them the chance to touch them.

After the music subsided, both the dancers escorted their ‘partners’ off stage and towards the private rooms. They separated without a word and after Tino had pushed Berwald into his room, he slowly turned around to look at the red-faced blonde in private.

“I didn’t think you were coming tonight.” Tino started with a hesitant chuckle. 

“Mmn. Mathias wanted to come back and I agreed.” 

The Finn nodded his head in understanding, but still wondered if that meant Berwald wanted to come or was dragged again. “I’m glad you came, though.” He said. “Did you enjoy the dance?” 

Berwald’s answer came in the form of a slow nod. The dance was much different than the one done in private. Just knowing there were horny men surrounding him, wishing to be in his spot, and wanting to have Tino to themselves gave the dance an entirely different feeling. He felt special for being the one Tino picked out of the crowd.

But this wasn’t on the forefront of his mind right now. Despite the euphoria of it all, he hadn’t failed to notice the chalky foundation covering the Finn’s neck. From off stage you couldn’t tell, but having him on his lap made it painfully obvious he had on makeup, covering what Berwald could tell was something purple.

“What happened to your neck?” He blurted out, unable to keep his worry silent. But something about it bothered him, it wasn’t right.

Tino stilled and his lilac eyes widened slightly at the question given to him. 

“Your hands were cut up too, are you alright? Do you need help?” Berwald’s normally stern face was softened by something new, something like concern as his brows furrowed together and his blue eyes scanned the smaller male before him as if trying to find more wounds.

“I-I’m fine, really. Don’t worry about me.” The Finn told him, raising his hands in defense, but this only gave the Swede the chance to grab his wrists and bring the other man’s hands closer to his face for inspection. The palms and fingers before his eyes were newly cut and Tino seemed to know he was caught because he didn’t try to pull away and looked down silently.

“Tino...” Berwald began slowly, his voice quiet as if afraid of his own words. He lowered the Finn’s hands but kept a hold on his wrists as he peered down at him. “Please...what happened to you?”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: smut

Tino kept his sad gaze cast down to the floor, trying not to peer up into those worried, blue orbs that he felt were boring down on him. Berwald was waiting patiently for an answer, the only sound the suggestive beat which echoed throughout the dim rooms.

With his morale starting to shatter, Tino pulled his wrists out of the other man’s grasp, still refusing to look him in the eyes.

“It isn’t anything you need to worry about.” He repeated firmly. “It’s just something that comes with the job, I’m used to it.” He would leave it at that if he could, but something told him the Swede would not.

Berwald dropped his hands to his sides when the Finn escaped his grasp. His hands balling into fists at his sides, though he wasn’t angry at Tino, he was upset with whoever caused him this pain. “Tino, if someone is hurting you, you need to contact the police.” He stated as if it was obvious, but held a gentle undertone to it. “If you don’t feel comfortable, I can-”

“No!” The shrill sound startled Berwald into stopping as he took the time to actually observe the shorter blonde’s face. It was scared, his eyes dim as if not looking at what was in front of him but instead at something far off. A frown tugged at his lips, making them curl in worry as his brows furrowed upwards to express his concern without words. 

“No, please don’t.” The request came again, softer this time as Tino shook his head. “Don’t go to the police, it’ll just end up with me in trouble instead.” He tended not to bother the law because he was technically on the wrong side of it. Not many took kindly to what he did and most didn’t see him as a person but the object of his profession, a prostitute. So, if he were to be caught, he wouldn’t be treated very well and he knew this.

The tall Swede chewed on his lower lip in thought, taking in the way Tino began to rock back and forth as if waiting anxiously for his promise. The Finn did have a point, Tino was breaking the law by bedding men and as a result, there was a good chance he wouldn’t be helped but taken into custody himself. But it still wasn’t right what was happening to him. “Was it someone here?” He ended up settling, grip still tight by his sides.

A small shake of the head gave Berwald his answer and he eased up a bit. Something about realizing the person who did this wasn’t in the immediate area made him relax. It didn’t exactly make things better, however. “Who did it then? Have they done it before? Is it a customer?”

Again, silence pierced his ears as Tino nervously rubbed his hands together as if he were cold. He shook his head once more, a silent refusal to answer.

“Tino,” Berwald tried again, but was cut short when the smaller man turned away from him and shook his head again.

“Berwald, please stop. It doesn’t matter.” He reasoned, but the huff he heard behind him told him that the other felt differently.

“Someone hurt you, how can I just sit by and let that happen?” The tall blonde asked firmly. He was dumbfounded. He wanted to help but was frustrated because he wasn’t sure exactly how he _could_. He didn’t even know who he was mad at because Tino wouldn’t tell him. He was angry with the man who did it and at himself for not being able to do anything about it without hurting Tino in the process. 

He watched Tino’s back as he went and sat in front of the round mirror connected to the cabinet in the corner. “Men hurt me everyday, Berwald. I let them into my body and they do as they please. I’m no stranger to pain.” He replied simply, as casual as if he were only talking about the news. He craned his neck to better see the purple marks that were becoming more and more visible as the sweat washed the makeup off, his dull gaze lingering on the mirror before him.

Berwald’s mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. The calm way the shorter man reasoned his problems away was bone chilling and the soft voice he had come to enjoy felt eerie and dark uttering those words. “You don’t deserve this,” he argued to Tino’s back. It would’ve been more comical, quarreling with a man in lingerie, if Berwald didn’t feel his heart ache just looking at the wounds on that porcelain skin. 

A sad chuckle filled the room, its origins the dim eyed man in the corner. “You don’t know what I deserve.” Tino muttered blankly, running his fingers down his throat in ponderance. His reply seemed to have stunned the Swede into further silence, so he continued. “Why do you even care so much anyway?” He asked, not bothering to turn around and look his customer in the eye. “I told you before, what happened yesterday was not a date, we aren’t together, so why are you getting so worked up?” 

Why? Berwald finally stopped to ask himself that question and he couldn’t answer it. Besides just plain human decency? But there was more to it than that. He did like Tino, behind the pretty face and seductive eyes that lured him in like a siren, the Finn was also an amazing person. He was kind, caring, and funny, something Berwald had the pleasure of finding out on their not-date the day prior. He wasn’t intimidated by his angry expression or height, he giggled everytime Berwald made a stupid joke, he genuinely listened and it was only now that he was realizing his time with Tino in the restaurant was the most he’d _actually_ talked in a long, long time. And the Finn drank up every word, asking questions and adding to the conversation, showing he was truly invested in Berwald’s tales. He didn’t want someone as sweet and amazing as Tino to go around in fear.

Tino took the Swede’s lack of response in full, the weight of the quiet bearing on his shoulders as he slumped. “I know what I am to you, you know. You don’t have to say it.” He mumbled, brushing a hand through his hair as if primping himself for a new act. “I’m someone to hold at night and make you feel good. I’m the one you want to fuck like no tomorrow and then parade me around on your arm to look pretty like I’m a prize you’ve won.” Ivan was right, he wasn’t anything but a whore. A pretty thing to sleep with and show off, but never to keep.

The self accusation shocked Berwald back to reality, eyes slightly widened as they watched the back of Tino’s head as if it would explain more. He didn’t see the Finn that way at all and the idea that the other thought he did made his chest hurt more.

“No, you’re wrong.” The Swede stated simply, not failing to notice the way Tino stopped idly combing through his hair. “You’re not any of those things, you’re much more than that.” Finally gaining the courage to actually move, Berwald trudged silently over to the table where the other man was still sitting. His lilac eyes were bound to his own in the reflection. The look they gave him was skepticism, like he didn’t believe what he’d just told him. In that case, Berwald would have to convince him.

Tino didn’t say a word as he watched Berwald come towards him until the blonde was kneeling beside his chair, his stern gaze begging to be kept.

“You’re more than that.” He repeated, softer this time since he was closer. This made the Finn laugh a small, crude huff and he looked away in disbelief, but Berwald kept his eyes planted on him until the other returned the gesture once more.

“What’s so amazing about me?” Tino challenged. “You’ve only known me for two weeks, and two of the times we met up you just slept with me.” He didn’t see how Berwald could say he was anything but a good fuck.

But the large man shook his head, making Tino’s face twist in confusion. 

“You’re kind,” he started, daring to lift his hand as he did so. “And thoughtful,” he continued, eyeing the way his words weighed on Tino’s face. “You actually listen and hear what I have to say,” he rested his hand on top of Tino’s where it was bunched in an anxious fist on his knee. “You gave me a chance, not many other people ever have.” Even if the chance was just a dance and the decision to give him his address for a quick buck, it was something. Tino had picked him before plenty of other hungry men and spoiled him. Berwald had sat at the bar that night upset with Mathias for dragging him there, yes, but also angry because he knew no dancers would want him. He was too scary, too tall, too stone faced.

But Tino came to him anyway. There hadn’t been a drop of fear in those gorgeous, lavender eyes as he smiled up at him that night they met. And Berwald knew it easily could’ve been because the Finn had seen his fair share of scary men and had probably seduced them all as well, but he still chose him. He still decided he was worth approaching and asking if he was okay. He still took the time to assure him, when they were alone together in his apartment, that they wouldn’t do anything he was uncomfortable with. There was genuine concern and care in those words Tino spoke, something Berwald never heard directed at him before.

He watched the way Tino’s eyes widened in surprise, then concentration, then guilt. 

“Berwald...” The Finn’s voice was so soft it was nearly inaudible, but Berwald was leaning so close and giving every ounce of attention to the blonde that he heard it loud and clear. “You...You shouldn’t get attached to me.” He warned, that same, genuine worry lighting up his beautiful eyes. This is what Berwald meant, Tino cared about others, about _him_. “Don’t make this more than it is. It isn’t rewarding to care about a whore.”

Berwald shook his head again, easier this time. “M’ not.” He replied, causing another puzzled expression to cross the other’s face. “I care about Tino.”

The Finn in question let his eyes go wide as he stared gaping at Berwald with a shocked, unbelieving gaze. It took a few moments for him to recover from his petrification and he was back to looking down once more. “How could you possibly…? You hardly know me at all.” He retorted.

“I know you’re a good person, that’s a start, isn’t it?” came the steady reply, only followed by more pentive silence. 

Despite the other man staring at him as if he had gone mad, Berwald couldn’t help but notice it was getting easier to talk to Tino when they were alone. He still wasn’t much for intruding his opinion, still preferring to listen than to talk, but that wasn’t a problem if the voice he was listening to came from a certain blonde. He thought he might be able to just be silent and let that angelic voice ring in his ears for hours. He figured his comfort came from the extended talk they had at the restaurant, since he didn’t hang out with really anyone besides Mathias, it’d been a while since he even sat down with someone else outside of work.

Berwald had tried to tell himself Tino had only pretended to be interested because he had been paid and he was an actor, of sorts, so he would be good at faking his fascination. But no matter how hard he tried, the Swede could detect no false intentions and was certain that the Finn was being sincere. Besides, Berwald liked the way those compassionate, purple eyes stayed on him.

The sound of a chair screeching startled him out of his memory as Tino stood up once more and walked away from the man still crouching down. He looked pensive and remorseful, as if something were eating away and he was trying to keep it locked away.

“Berwald, I’m sorry, but I think you’ve misunderstood me.” The words coming out of those pink lips felt like a hammer smashing into his chest. “I’m sorry, I must have put off the wrong signals, or made you think this could be more than just a...professional relationship. But I’m not interested in becoming friends with my customers.” 

Even though Tino still had his back to him, Berwald could see the way he brought his arms up to wrap around himself as if he were cold, even though the room was rather hot due to the nature of the place. Without really realizing he did it, he stood up and just waited for the other to continue speaking. He barely noticed he didn’t even have much of a voice left to reply anyway.

“You’re nice, Berwald, and so very sweet...but I don’t think it’s a good idea to make this more than it is.” Tino continued without facing him. He already crossed the line by letting Berwald take him out anywhere, Ivan was very thorough in making him realize his mistake. “I won’t mind still giving you dances or letting you come over, but don’t let yourself think it means something it doesn’t. You’ll just end up hurting yourself if you do.” He wasn’t trying to find a friend or a lover, he was trying to get paid, and he needed to remind himself to keep it that way.

Why then did he not have the will to say it to the Swede’s face? 

Why did the words uttered from his own lips make him feel defeated and beaten, as if he just lost something he didn’t even know he had until it slipped from his grasp?

He took a deep breath and slowly turned, unprepared for the stern face glaring back at him. It was Berwald’s normal face but that was just the problem, Tino expected _some_ sort of reaction and yet there was _none_. The taller man was as stoney as usual and this left Tino aching more than before. Maybe he had just over valued himself and Berwald wasn’t even taking him seriously anymore. It wouldn’t be a surprise if that were the case.

“Fine.”

The answer was low enough that if Tino hadn’t been waiting for a response that he would’ve missed it. The tall blonde wasn’t praising him anymore, in fact, he looked like he wanted to kill him for his rejection. But his word wasn’t harsh, sounding more defeated, unless it was just Tino’s mind playing tricks on him again.

“M’ sorry I brought anything up, I won’t do it again.” Berwald told him in that same quiet voice. He was unable to read the unmoving face, try as he might to catch a glimpse of what was going on in the Swede’s mind as he spoke. “I’d still like to see you tonight, if that’s okay.” He ended, almost hesitantly. 

Tino paused before finally nodding his head, figuring this couldn’t hurt because Berwald already knew it wouldn’t be anything more than a simple, give and take relationship, and Ivan would no longer bother him if he was only visited in the cover of night. He tried not to think about the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“Can I...still pay you to go out with me? Just every now and then.”

The question was unexpected to say the least, and again Tino was deep in thought as he pondered it. On one hand, it was nice to go out and act normal for a change, but on the other he was afraid Ivan might take it the wrong way. He shifted uncomfortably before he settled for an answer. “I’ll think about it.” It was all he could offer at the moment.

Berwald didn’t want to push his luck and nodded, accepting the vague response since there was at least some hope in it. “I’ll see you later then.” He decided on, earning a silent nod from the other before he left the room, though there was still no sign of Mathias.

~ ~ ~

Later that night, Tino let Berwald into his house, after he got off work and he met the Swede at his apartment like they did before. The tall man noticed as he walked through the door that the flowers he had bought just the day before were still on the kitchen table, but they weren’t in the same vase he had bought and a few were missing and the ones that weren’t looked bruised and wounded. He also noticed that the floor looked freshly swept and mopped, as if something had spilled. 

Tino noticed the other’s noticeable glare and was quick to excuse it. “I’m sorry, I wanted to tell you before but I didn’t want to upset you,” he said, smiling sadly. “I accidently dropped them when I was trying to give them fresh water this morning. I shattered the vase but managed to save most of the flowers.” 

This was partly true, since after the Russian was gone, Tino had sat up and shifted through the glass shards, carefully shaking off the sharp pieces from the lilies until he had them all collected in his arms. He had lifted himself from the floor and washed off the blood from his hands and their green stems, then placed them in a smaller, cheaper vase he had hiding in his cabinet. They didn’t look as nice, all bent and obviously abused, but he felt compelled to keep them while they still lived.

After that brief explanation, he took Berwald’s money and locked it away like usual, meeting the blonde in his work room. In an instant, Tino had his arms wrapped loosely around the Swede’s neck and craning up to capture his lips with his own. 

Berwald had to bend down some to meet Tino’s lips, but he wasn’t complaining when he felt them pressing against his skin. He let his arms envelope the smaller man’s form, bringing him closer as their collective breath grew hotter. 

They remained connected for a few minutes, until finally Tino pulled away panting, trying to pull off his shirt. Berwald obliged him and pulled away his own clothing after helping the Finn out of his. Once they were both shirtless, their lips pulled together again like a magnetic force. Tino let Berwald push him backwards, stumbling until his back was pressed against the nearby wall. He groaned into the mouth that was overtaking his, letting his client do as he pleased as he felt large hands running up and down his sides. He didn’t complain as his pants were quickly discarded and thrown onto the bed and out of the way, leaving him exposed to the warm, night air.

“Mm, Berwald,” Tino moaned out in a hush voice, feeling the teeth grazing against his neck as the larger blonde moved down to plant kisses on his throat. 

Hearing his name from Tino’s lips still sent waves of pleasure through his body and made him want nothing but to make him say it more. He reluctantly let go of the quivering Finn, taking in the desperate whine that escaped the form in front of him. “Stay here for a moment,” he told the other who only nodded in answer.

Berwald felt satisfied that Tino would stay and so he walked over to the nightstand, opening it up to find the vile of lube there. He tried to ignore the pain that shot through his chest seeing the few contents in the drawer were moved around since he last saw them, which wouldn’t mean as much if the lube itself wasn’t emptier than it used to be. He knew he shouldn’t be too disappointed that someone else had been there in his absence, it was part of what Tino did to survive. But the thought of another man touching him was sickening, jealousy boiled in his veins, but he had to suppress it. Tino had made it very clear that this was nothing but a ‘professional’ relationship and he wasn’t dating him so there was no reason to be jealous. Still, he couldn’t help it.

Berwald returned to Tino’s side with the liquid, easily hiding his unease at the observations he made. Without a word, Berwald gave him another kiss, lingering there as his hands were again on his hips. Pulling away, the Swede turned the man in his grasp so that he was facing away from him, pushing his face towards the wall so his backside was sticking out. 

He took in the view for only a few short seconds before he was covering his fingers in lube, rubbing them together to warm it up. After he was thoroughly satisfied, he circled the tip of his finger around the ring of muscle to the Finn’s entrance, watching as Tino shivered at the action. Slowly, Berwald pushed the finger in and waited until the muscles around him relaxed before he started to push in and out. He continued this treatment as he added in a second and finally, a third finger. By this point Tino’s legs were buckling in on themselves, struggling to hold himself up and take in all the pleasure of his prostate being actively abused inside of him. 

Tino’s fingers digged at the wallpaper, clawing at the wall in a futile attempt to control himself. His mouth hung open to let his moans spill out, bucking his hips instinctively to get more friction against those amazing fingers inside of him.

But all too suddenly the digits were removed, making him sigh in disappointment. He tried to compose himself, resting his forehead against the wall between his hands, trying to catch his breath. He heard the quiet crinkling of a wrapper and knew that Berwald was putting on a condom, the sound pulling Tino into the depths of lust once again. 

He was pleasantly greeted by a pressure pushing against his hole, a loud moan rumbling through him when he felt that familiar heat entering him as Berwald slowly pushed into him. 

Like always, the tall Swede stopped to let the shorter man adjust, getting better at knowing when he could and couldn’t move. When he was all the way inside of the man below him, Berwald pulled back and slammed back into him, repeating the forceful motion in time with the voice screaming out his name. 

“Oh god, oh god, _Berwald_ -” Tino cried out into the dim room like his life was in danger, his entire body was hot under the Swede’s strong grip and he could feel the eyes drilling into him from behind. 

Berwald continued to ram into Tino with little mercy, a powerful urge to claim the smaller man as his taking hold of him despite what his brain was telling him. He knew Tino couldn’t be his alone but in moments like this, he felt like he could pretend that his name was the only one that would be yelled out by that beautiful voice. He felt guilt that he thought this way, knowing this wasn’t what the Finn wanted, but he couldn’t help himself. He also couldn’t get the nagging feeling of fear to leave the back of his head, the marks on Tino’s neck were still all too visible for him at this angle and the desire to keep him safe was overwhelming. 

“Am I causing you pain?” He blurted out, but his movement didn’t slow.

Tino almost didn’t hear the other speak he was so caught up in the feeling of being penetrated but when the words connected in his mind, he managed to stop his theatrics long enough to reply. 

“N-No, you’re not. It feels amazing, you’re so- _aah!_ ” He couldn’t finish his sentence before a well placed trust hit just the right spot inside him to make him yell out.

Berwald gripped the snow white hips tighter, continuing to drive into the other back and forth, though his face twisted into a face of displeasure. “That’s not what I meant.” He growled back, his head lowered down to plant kissing across the bruise on Tino’s neck. “Am I causing _you pain_ by doing this to you?” His voice was hoarse, low from the built up lust. 

Tino didn’t get a chance to reply because Berwald pulled out and flipped him over so his back was against the wall instead and he was being held up by the Swede who took no time in shoving his length back into him. The Finn groaned, his head dipping back when he was invaded once more, but the Swede slowed his movements to a calm rocking. Tino wrapped his legs around the tall man’s waist to help keep himself from falling. His back was chilly against the cold wall but he was easily distracted by this when Berwald took one of his hands and began kissing his palm, his lips scraping against the cuts that were there.

Lavender eyes stared in wonder at the sight, a warm thumping in his chest lulled him into watching as the larger man pampered his wounds with affection as if he were trying to heal them with his very thoughts. He almost didn’t notice when ocean blue eyes turned on him, glaring up at him with an intensity Tino was not used to from the other man. 

“Am I hurting you?” The question came again, making Tino realize he hadn’t answered it the first time.

“I don’t understand what you mean, Berwald.” He replied. If he wasn’t referring to the way he was continuously thrusting into him, then he didn’t know what he was supposed to say.

The confused answer seemed to make those blue eyes waiver, almost sadly, as if he didn’t want to explain but felt the need to. “Earlier you said men hurt you by being inside you,” he finally spoke, voice lower than before. “I don’t want to be like those men. I don’t want you to be in pain, so if you don’t want to do this, I’ll stop and won’t do it again.” He understood that this was how Tino got paid, but he didn’t want to be part of the problem if this was mentally hurting him. If it came down to it, Berwald would be open to paying him just to sit down and talk, not in a restaurant, but just in the kitchen if he’d prefer that. It wouldn’t stop all the other men from coming around but if he could help Tino even a little he would.

Tino didn’t notice when the motion stopped, leaving him shaking with Berwald still buried deep inside him, but still the brooding man made no attempt to move. Instead, he continued to stare him down, awaiting an answer. Finally, the Finn realized what the Swede meant, and it startled him to think he might actually care how he felt.

And suddenly he realized he wasn’t hurting as much.

“You know, with you, it doesn’t really hurt at all.” He settled on saying with a small smile, trying to read the stern look plastered on the other’s face only inches from his own. There was something there in those cool blues that told Tino he was thinking, probably trying to figure out if he was telling the truth or not. 

Then, the smaller blonde gasped, when suddenly he was being thrust into again, even more relentlessly than before. His entire body jumped from the motion, causing him to lull his head back and emit a loud moan. His legs spread out and he felt Berwald move his arms so his legs were folded on top of them and he was being completely held up by the strong blonde as he moved inside of him.

Tino’s arms snapped back to Berwald’s shoulders, digging his nails into the flesh there to give him some sense of grounding as his body was slammed against the wall. He chanted the Swede’s name as he screamed out into the quiet, not really caring at the moment who might hear him.

Berwald grit his teeth, pushing himself as deep as he would go before pulling back out again and repeating the motion with a merciless pace. The squelching sound of skin hitting skin and Tino’s cries were enough to make his own groans grow louder and louder until his movement became less coordinated and he was finishing with a few more hard trusts. He felt the body around him twitch but knew when he finally stopped that Tino hadn’t yet had his own release, but glancing down he was painfully hard still.

Without a word of warning, he moved one of the Finn’s legs so it was resting on his shoulder and used his free arm to reach between them, running his hand against the hot skin of Tino’s erection.

The smaller man felt Berwald finish inside of him and was almost disappointed he didn’t get his fix before the session was over. It wouldn’t be the first time however and these times weren’t about _his_ pleasure, they were about the customer’s. So, he thought Berwald would just pull out and leave him there shaking to deal with himself afterwards, but a large hand gripping him was never expected. 

He let out an airy gasp, but it turned back into pleasured moans as Berwald began quickly pumping him. The motion against his throbbing erection and the feeling of still being completely filled by Berwald sent him over the edge, making him spasm slightly as he let out his final scream of pleasure as he finished.

Taking in deep breaths to regain his senses, Tino let himself be carried over to the bed and laid down. Before he even knew what was happening he felt caring hands on his thighs, spreading them out once again, but this time they began cleaning him as Berwald worked quietly to wipe him off the best he could. Tino was so taken back by the pure bliss of his own orgasim and shock that his client was now willingly cleaning him, that he just stared up at the ceiling and let it happen. 

A few, short minutes later and the hands on him left when Berwald went to pick up their clothes that had landed on the floor and brought them over. Tino sat up and watched the other man pull on his wrinkled shirt and button up his pants, not moving to put on his own clothing since there was no real point.

“You okay?” Berwald asked, looking over to meet the Finn’s thoughtful gaze.

Tino nodded, that same, soft smile turning his swollen lips into a beautiful picture that could rival any work of art. “I’m fine.” He told him gently, getting up slowly to find and wrap himself in a robe. As he did this, Berwald had left the room and entered the kitchen area instead. Tino walked in on him trying to fix the wrinkles in his shirt.

“Before you go,” the shorter blonde said, catching Berwald’s attention as his eyes turned curious as he faced him. “If you want to take me out again, I’m free Friday night.” 

Berwald searched Tino’s face for any hint of doubt or hesitation, but couldn’t find any. The man was being serious about going out again and he almost couldn’t believe it. He nodded with a small grunt, which Tino seemed to understand was a yes because his face lit up at it.

“Text me before then and we’ll make plans. I have an idea of where to go this time, you might just like it.” He giggled, subconsciously walking his guest to the door and waving him goodbye as he closed the door behind him. 

As he went to take a shower and go to bed, Tino found himself not caring for once if Ivan found out or not. He felt a warmth in him that he had nearly forgot existed for a long time.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! Without spoiling it too much, some of the trigger warnings are applicable to this chapter. If you would like to know what they are, please skip to the bottom of the chapter

Berwald awoke the next morning to his phone buzzing loudly by his head. He groaned and picked the device up, half curious as to who was calling him this early and half wanting to beat them to death for doing it. He guessed he shouldn’t have been surprised that it was Mathias. Begrudgingly, he hit answer.

“Yo! Berwald, what happened last night? You just disappeared again!” Mathias’ hyperactive voice was shrill through his speaker, causing Berwald to wince back. 

“Mm, Mathias, why are you calling me so early?” He groaned, rolling over to reach for his glasses.

“‘Cause, man! You keep worrying me, you have to stop just running off like that.” The Dane countered quickly. “Last I saw you, you were headed into a room with that cutie dressed as a sexy santa. How’d that go by the way?” 

He could practically hear the smirk on his friend’s face as he said it and Berwald wished he was there so he could wipe that smug look off him. “It was fine...I’d seen him before.” He rubbed his eyes before slowly sliding his glasses onto his face, blinking to adjust to the clear vision as he slowly rose off the bed. He was too tired for this right now, maybe some hot coffee would wake him up. 

Mathias however was unusually quiet for a few seconds, as if he were stunned into silence. It was then that Berwald realized with a jolt what he had just admitted, but before he could open his mouth to correct himself, his friend was practically breathing down his throat even through the phone. “Whoa, whoa, whoa there. What do you mean you’ve seen him before? Have you been holding out on me, Ber?”

The Swede groaned once more. For all the times he didn’t talk, now had to be the one time he said something stupid and spilled the beans. “Mathias-”

“No, no, no, hold on. Was that where you disappeared to before? You were with that hottie?” Another frustrated noise told Mathias he was correct. “But I didn’t see your car in the lot. What’d you do, go home with him?” There was some humor in his voice when he said that last part, meaning he obviously didn’t think that was actually the case but was trying it anyway. 

Thank god the excited blonde wasn’t actually talking to him in person right now or else the blush that crept over his face would’ve given him away. “I’ll call you back later, I have stuff to do.”

“Hey! Wait a sec-” 

Click.

Berwald set his phone face down on the kitchen counter and rubbed his face, he didn’t need to be unraveled by Tino this early in the morning. And the Finn wasn’t even here! 

He ignored the barrage of texts he was getting now and put on some coffee before he wondered to the bathroom to do what he needed and grabbed a new outfit while he was at it. By the time he returned to the kitchen his drink was ready so he took it and sat down at the table to open his laptop. 

He kept taking small glances at his phone, wondering if he should text Tino already or wait a little while. He did want to take the Finn out on Friday, but that was nearly a week away, so he had plenty of time. But at the same time, Tino might want confirmation sooner than later and if he waited too long he might make other plans with someone else. Berwald frowned at the thought of missing his chance and letting another man take Tino’s day. 

This thought alone made the Swede pick up his phone and, ignoring all the messages Mathias had sent him after his hasty hang up, scrolled down to Tino’s name and hit the text box. 

_“Still want to meet Friday?”_ He started simple. There wasn’t much else to say, really. They were just going to make plans and then they wouldn’t talk for the rest of the week. He did wonder what this special place Tino wanted to go was though, he didn’t know if the blonde would actually tell him beforehand or if he’d keep it a secret until the very end.

Only a few, short minutes later and Berwald heard his phone ding. Thankfully, it was Tino and not Mathias trying to interrogate him again. 

_“Of course! :)”_ Was the equally basic reply, yet Berwald didn’t mind it.

_“Good. What time?”_

_“Pick me up at noon?”_

_“Noon it is then.”_

_“Okay!!”_

Berwald’s thumbs twitched against his phone screen, but couldn’t make them type anything in reply. He wanted to keep talking to the sweet man but there was nothing to say. Nothing the other would want to hear, anyway. He wanted a professional relationship, so that was what Berwald was going to give him, as much as it grieved him to do so.

Giving his attention back to his laptop and boredly beginning some work, he sipped his coffee with little else to do except type up spreadsheets and documents. After he felt thoroughly satisfied Mathias had enough of the silent treatment, he texted him back, avoiding the questions aimed at him, brushing them off as Mathias being as dramatic as usual.

The time passed slowly, but it always did when you were alone. He felt satisfied with the work he had done for now, switching to do some chores around the house and relaxing with a book on the couch by midafternoon. By all accounts it was a particularly boring day, then again, most of his days were. 

He didn’t find it of much interest when he heard his phone vibrate with life once more, since he and Mathias had been texting back and forth all day. It was Berwald’s compromise that kept his friend from coming over unannounced when he was trying to work. Much to his surprise however, it wasn’t the Dane’s name that was on his screen.

_“How’s your day going?”_

Berwald blinked and reread the message again, unsure if he was going crazy and his mind was playing tricks on him. He thought this must be a joke or a prank of some kind, but no matter how he looked at it there was no way it was. No one around Tino would know who he was so there was no point in randomly texting him and there was no way Mathias got a hold of the Finn’s phone. 

He didn’t think Tino would randomly text him out of the blue like this and yet his fingers still found their way to his phone and typed up a response. 

_“Fine. What about you?”_ He sent in return, trying to test if this really was the smiling Finn as he hoped it was.

_“That’s good! Mine’s been okay. I have to work tonight”_ This sentence was accompanied by an emoji making a ‘bleh!’ face, which Berwald actually found himself smiling at. It made it sound like Tino had a bland, nine to five job instead of an upbeat dance marathon of a workplace. _“I don’t guess I’ll see you there tonight. No fun!”_ Was quickly added to the end.

Berwald chuckled quietly to himself, pleasantly surprised at the words in his hand. Tino really was as cute on the phone as in real life. 

_“Sorry, I can’t go every night, you know. But I’m going to see you Friday, remember”_ He typed back, hoping his attempt at humor came off right. It was strange. It sounded like they were talking about an actual date, not just another payday.

Again, Berwald’s phone buzzed in his hand.

_“I know, I know, I just like it when you come”_

_“. . .”_

_“Both ways, if you know what I mean”_

_“;) ;) ;)”_

Berwald snorted at the attack of messages he was getting, not minding them in the slightest. For the first time in a long time he actually found himself laughing, as small as it was.

_“I can’t believe you just said that.”_

_“Was it too much?”_ Tino replied and Berwald could swear he heard the worry in it.

_“No, it’s fine. It was funny.”_ He responded quickly, not wanting to let Tino think he was judging him or anything. 

Minutes went by without an answer and the Swede began to grow concerned that maybe he had hurt Tino’s feelings. He hadn’t meant to if he did, he really did think his joke was funny. He bit at his bottom lip, thinking he should just apologize and stop texting before he made an even bigger fool out of himself. He knew it was too good to be true that Tino might actually want to talk to him.

He set his phone down and sighed, leaning his head back against the couch and closed his eyes. He hated the way he was sometimes. He wished he could be more outgoing, funnier, and express himself better but all he was saddled with was being socially awkward. 

Ding!

Berwald jolted out of his self loathing with surprise and apprehension. He hoped Tino at least wouldn’t be offended.

_“I wish I got to hear your laugh”_ stared back at him when he picked up his phone, and before he could comprehend it, another text came his way. _“I bet you have a really nice laugh. I hope I’ll hear it on Friday”_

Berwald waited but no more messages came. He hit the text box and without really thinking began typing himself. 

_“It’s not that nice. Not as nice as yours at least.”_

_“Hahaha I don’t believe that”_

Berwald let out a relieved sigh that Tino didn’t seem bothered by anything he said and he found it easier to reply the more it went on. Which turned out to be a lot as the afternoon turned into night and Berwald was laid back in bed, phone in his hands, gazing sleepily at the new words that popped on his screen. 

~ ~ ~

Tino’s hands shook as he held onto the phone in his hands. His vision was slightly blurred and he couldn’t quite think straight. All he knew was he was texting Berwald and he didn’t care how unprofessional it was.

He hadn’t meant for his day to be like this. It started out as normal as any other, he got up and got ready, deciding to skip out on breakfast because he didn’t have much of an appetite. 

Luck was never quite on his side however as a hard knocking on his door startled him out of his tired daze. 

“I’m coming! One second!” He yelled at the front of his apartment where the noise was still banging loud in his tired ears. He rushed to the kitchen area but stopped dead in his tracks instead of opening the door right away, he caught sight of the vase of now shabby flowers on his table. He didn’t want a repeat of yesterday so he quickly grabbed them and ran them back into his bedroom, while assuring the person at his door he was on his way.

After making sure the lilies were safely hidden away, he jogged back to the kitchen and unlocked the front door. He didn’t know why he expected a different tall man to greet him, he should’ve known he wouldn’t escape Ivan that easily. 

“Hello, snowflake.” The Russian’s grin was disturbingly wide, like he was a child who just found a stash of candy, but a hint of darkness still lingered behind it. 

“Good morning, Ivan. You’re here early...again.” Tino noted cautiously, stepping out of the way to avoid being pushed as the other man entered his apartment. The bruises on his neck still ached with remembrance of what happened last time he had entered his apartment and he went cold in fear it would happen again. 

“I just came to check on you, you were screaming a lot last night.” The Russian replied easily, ghosting past the Finn and eyeing the little area pensively. 

Tino stiffened even more at the admission that Ivan heard him last night. He wondered how long he had stuck around to listen. The thought sent chills up his spine. “It was a customer, of course I was yelling. They pay more when you do.” 

Ivan made a small sound of acknowledgement but no more than that as his gaze travelled from one part of the room to the other, as if looking for something. Tino didn’t fail to notice the way he stopped and stared at his empty table.

“Your flowers are gone.” The bulky man noticed aloud. 

Tino was quick to think of an excuse without tipping the other off or upsetting him. “Well, after yesterday, they were so bruised there wasn’t much point in keeping them.” He lied. He didn’t know why he did, but something in him told him that it was for the best if Ivan thought he didn’t have the flowers anymore.

“Hmm, such a shame. Why’d you break those again?” He asked, turning his smile back to Tino. There wasn’t anything he could say to that so he just frowned, relieved when Ivan didn’t take offense.

“Ah, yes. Yesterday morning, we were having a discussion.”

Tino felt the color leave his face at those words. There was no way Ivan had just remembered, he just liked to toy with him. The Finn knew this all too well because it was the game that the Russian always played. He acted innocent when in reality he was little more than a sadistic monster. Tino had never met a person worse and yet he was almost too afraid to leave his home in search of a better one. He figured it would be best just to stay where he was and take the abuse rather than have Ivan come after him in a fit of rage for leaving. That was little comfort in times like these however.

“I don’t know what you want from me, Ivan. I told you, he’s just a customer and nothing else.” Tino began.

Ivan hummed lowly as if he were in thought, pacing slowly around the room until he stopped short of running into the Finn. “That may be, but you should know better than to oppose me.” He muttered darkly, glaring down at the purple eyes that shone with just a hint of fear.

“I’m not! I just didn’t want you to get the wrong idea.” Tino defended, not liking the way Ivan shook his head.

“There you go, fighting me again.” The Russian’s lips curved into a smile, despite the displeasure in his voice. 

Tino felt a sharp pain run through him when Ivan roughly grabbed him upper arm, gripping it tightly in his hand and pulling him even closer. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end as lips grazed one of his ears, a warm breeze of air following it as the taller man spoke.

“Do I have to teach you another lesson?” He whispered, fist still squeezing pain into the smaller man as he snaked his free arm around his waist. A small shake of the head gave him his answer. “Then you will be good and listen?” He added, pushing his groin against Tino’s stomach as he waited. After hearing a small suck in of breath at his actions, the Finn finally nodded his agreement, making Ivan’s grin spread painfully wide.

“That’s good. I’d hate to have to have to hurt you, snowflake.” His hand wormed under the fabric of Tino’s shirt, feeling the hot skin underneath. “You or that man.” He felt the shorter man jolt under his fingers at his words, but kept them moving anyway. He decided to explain, “You didn’t really think that if you were to leave me for him that I wouldn’t track the two of you down, did you? You belong to me, so it would only be right for me to take back what is mine if he stole it, da?” His lips left the Finn’s ear in favor of his neck, making sure to bite down hard enough to leave a bloody mark within the bruises he had already made despite the obvious suffering it put his tenant in.

“Please don’t...he hasn’t done anything. He doesn’t even know about you.” Tino pleaded. Berwald didn’t deserve to be in pain because of him, there was no reason for him to be caught up in this mess that was his life.

“Don’t worry, pet. As long as you don’t get any funny ideas and run off, he has nothing to worry about.” 

Tino didn’t say anything, preferring not to accidently rile Ivan up and end up with more than just a bruised up neck and arm. So, he let the hands roam his body and did his best to ignore the nauseous feeling building in the pit of his stomach from the lips trailing across his skin. They burned like acid, leaving a numb burning in their wake, but they were nothing compared to the pain that came soon after.

Ivan had him leaned over his kitchen table, not even bothering to uncloth him, instead settling for just pulling his pants down enough to expose him for penetration. He was lucky the Russian was generous enough to prepare him some first, albeit without little care and rushed movements. Tino balled his hands into shaky fists as the table thumped loudly against the wall as he was shoved into repeatedly.

When it was over, he hadn’t finished, and Ivan left him to clean himself up, which he did with little hesitation. He wanted the vile substance out of him as soon as possible, and if he could, to forget it even happened.

After a long shower, the Finn wandered into his bedroom where he sat on the edge of his bed, staring down at the bag in his lap. He was glad now that he had gotten this from Yao when he did as he opened it and pulled out the contents. 

Lukas would kill him if he knew what he was doing, but as Tino prepared the substance, he didn’t really care what his friend thought. Right now, he just wanted to leave his suffering behind, even if that happiness was artificial. 

~ ~ ~

Without realizing it, Tino had gotten a hold of his phone and was typing away. His fingers numb as they tapped on the screen under Berwald’s name. The ding had startled him when it went off, signaling that he had gotten a message. Looking down at it through foggy eyes, he made out Berwald’s message with enough effort and managed to reply.

Even with a clouded mind, Tino knew he needed to sound normal enough as to not raise suspicions. He didn’t want the Swede to be scared off if he knew something was up.

The texting started out innocent enough, since Tino did really want to see the other on Friday, but after the simple confirmation was left uncontinued, Tino began to stir with unrest. His fingers twitched, aching to continue talking to the tall man. Picking his phone back up, he typed another message, almost surprised at the quick response he was given. Yet, he found himself awaiting for the next text to come in every time he sent his own, smiling at his phone despite the fog in his head.

There really was something about Berwald that calmed him even though he knew he shouldn’t think that way. He couldn’t help the way he was looking forward to each message as if he wasn’t talking to one of his customers because it felt like a friend. Under normal circumstances he would never do this but his head was up in the clouds and for the moment, he could do anything and it would all be alright.

He spent his day, lying back on his bed, staring at the screen of his phone as his high slowly fell. But even as his mind cleared and the pain returned, he kept smiling dumbly at the device in his hands until it was time to go into work late that evening. By the time he was ready to go to work he was mostly sober, the foreign drugs having subsided into a dull hum in the back of his mind. 

_“I’m going into work now, I’ll talk to you later.”_ He sent, sitting in his lonely room at the club, dressed in crimson lingerie. 

_“Ok, have a good night. Stay safe.”_ Came the reply right after.

A soft smile set on his lips as he read the words before him. Poor Berwald, he was too kind to be caught up with someone like him. He truly had no idea what he was like. A twinge of pain shot into his heart at the thought and he stood up to go on stage, leaving his phone behind after one more text. 

_“Goodnight, Ber”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: sexual abuse and drug use


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! Without spoiling it too much, some of the tigger warnings are applicable to this chapter. If you would like to know what they are, please skip to the bottom of the chapter

Berwald awoke the next morning to his phone buzzing loudly by his head. He groaned and picked the device up, half curious as to who was calling him this early and half wanting to beat them to death for doing it. He guessed he shouldn’t have been surprised that it was Mathias. Begrudgingly, he hit answer.

“Yo! Berwald, what happened last night? You just disappeared again!” Mathias’ hyperactive voice was shrill through his speaker, causing Berwald to wince back. 

“Mm, Mathias, why are you calling me so early?” He groaned, rolling over to reach for his glasses.

“‘Cause, man! You keep worrying me, you have to stop just running off like that.” The Dane countered quickly. “Last I saw you, you were headed into a room with that cutie dressed as a sexy santa. How’d that go by the way?” 

He could practically hear the smirk on his friend’s face as he said it and Berwald wished he was there so he could wipe that smug look off him. “It was fine...I’d seen him before.” He rubbed his eyes before slowly sliding his glasses onto his face, blinking to adjust to the clear vision as he slowly rose off the bed. He was too tired for this right now, maybe some hot coffee would wake him up. 

Mathias however was unusually quiet for a few seconds, as if he were stunned into silence. It was then that Berwald realized with a jolt what he had just admitted, but before he could open his mouth to correct himself, his friend was practically breathing down his throat even through the phone. “Whoa, whoa, whoa there. What do you mean you’ve seen him before? Have you been holding out on me, Ber?”

The Swede groaned once more. For all the times he didn’t talk, now had to be the one time he said something stupid and spilled the beans. “Mathias-”

“No, no, no, hold on. Was that where you disappeared to before? You were with that hottie?” Another frustrated noise told Mathias he was correct. “But I didn’t see your car in the lot. What’d you do, go home with him?” There was some humor in his voice when he said that last part, meaning he obviously didn’t think that was actually the case but was trying it anyway. 

Thank god the excited blonde wasn’t actually talking to him in person right now or else the blush that crept over his face would’ve given him away. “I’ll call you back later, I have stuff to do.”

“Hey! Wait a sec-” 

Click.

Berwald set his phone face down on the kitchen counter and rubbed his face, he didn’t need to be unraveled by Tino this early in the morning. And the Finn wasn’t even here! 

He ignored the barrage of texts he was getting now and put on some coffee before he wondered to the bathroom to do what he needed and grabbed a new outfit while he was at it. By the time he returned to the kitchen his drink was ready so he took it and sat down at the table to open his laptop. 

He kept taking small glances at his phone, wondering if he should text Tino already or wait a little while. He did want to take the Finn out on Friday, but that was nearly a week away, so he had plenty of time. But at the same time, Tino might want confirmation sooner than later and if he waited too long he might make other plans with someone else. Berwald frowned at the thought of missing his chance and letting another man take Tino’s day. 

This thought alone made the Swede pick up his phone and, ignoring all the messages Mathias had sent him after his hasty hang up, scrolled down to Tino’s name and hit the text box. 

_“Still want to meet Friday?”_ He started simple. There wasn’t much else to say, really. They were just going to make plans and then they wouldn’t talk for the rest of the week. He did wonder what this special place Tino wanted to go was though, he didn’t know if the blonde would actually tell him beforehand or if he’d keep it a secret until the very end.

Only a few, short minutes later and Berwald heard his phone ding. Thankfully, it was Tino and not Mathias trying to interrogate him again. 

_“Of course! :)”_ Was the equally basic reply, yet Berwald didn’t mind it.

_“Good. What time?”_

_“Pick me up at noon?”_

_“Noon it is then.”_

_“Okay!!”_

Berwald’s thumbs twitched against his phone screen, but couldn’t make them type anything in reply. He wanted to keep talking to the sweet man but there was nothing to say. Nothing the other would want to hear, anyway. He wanted a professional relationship, so that was what Berwald was going to give him, as much as it grieved him to do so.

Giving his attention back to his laptop and boredly beginning some work, he sipped his coffee with little else to do except type up spreadsheets and documents. After he felt thoroughly satisfied Mathias had enough of the silent treatment, he texted him back, avoiding the questions aimed at him, brushing them off as Mathias being as dramatic as usual.

The time passed slowly, but it always did when you were alone. He felt satisfied with the work he had done for now, switching to do some chores around the house and relaxing with a book on the couch by midafternoon. By all accounts it was a particularly boring day, then again, most of his days were. 

He didn’t find it of much interest when he heard his phone vibrate with life once more, since he and Mathias had been texting back and forth all day. It was Berwald’s compromise that kept his friend from coming over unannounced when he was trying to work. Much to his surprise however, it wasn’t the Dane’s name that was on his screen.

_“How’s your day going?”_

Berwald blinked and reread the message again, unsure if he was going crazy and his mind was playing tricks on him. He thought this must be a joke or a prank of some kind, but no matter how he looked at it there was no way it was. No one around Tino would know who he was so there was no point in randomly texting him and there was no way Mathias got a hold of the Finn’s phone. 

He didn’t think Tino would randomly text him out of the blue like this and yet his fingers still found their way to his phone and typed up a response. 

_“Fine. What about you?”_ He sent in return, trying to test if this really was the smiling Finn as he hoped it was.

_“That’s good! Mine’s been okay. I have to work tonight”_ This sentence was accompanied by an emoji making a ‘bleh!’ face, which Berwald actually found himself smiling at. It made it sound like Tino had a bland, nine to five job instead of an upbeat dance marathon of a workplace. _“I don’t guess I’ll see you there tonight. No fun!”_ Was quickly added to the end.

Berwald chuckled quietly to himself, pleasantly surprised at the words in his hand. Tino really was as cute on the phone as in real life. 

_“Sorry, I can’t go every night, you know. But I’m going to see you Friday, remember”_ He typed back, hoping his attempt at humor came off right. It was strange. It sounded like they were talking about an actual date, not just another payday.

Again, Berwald’s phone buzzed in his hand.

_“I know, I know, I just like it when you come”_

_“. . .”_

_“Both ways, if you know what I mean”_

_“;) ;) ;)”_

Berwald snorted at the attack of messages he was getting, not minding them in the slightest. For the first time in a long time he actually found himself laughing, as small as it was.

_“I can’t believe you just said that.”_

_“Was it too much?”_ Tino replied and Berwald could swear he heard the worry in it.

_“No, it’s fine. It was funny.”_ He responded quickly, not wanting to let Tino think he was judging him or anything. 

Minutes went by without an answer and the Swede began to grow concerned that maybe he had hurt Tino’s feelings. He hadn’t meant to if he did, he really did think his joke was funny. He bit at his bottom lip, thinking he should just apologize and stop texting before he made an even bigger fool out of himself. He knew it was too good to be true that Tino might actually want to talk to him.

He set his phone down and sighed, leaning his head back against the couch and closed his eyes. He hated the way he was sometimes. He wished he could be more outgoing, funnier, and express himself better but all he was saddled with was being socially awkward. 

Ding!

Berwald jolted out of his self loathing with surprise and apprehension. He hoped Tino at least wouldn’t be offended.

_“I wish I got to hear your laugh”_ stared back at him when he picked up his phone, and before he could comprehend it, another text came his way. _“I bet you have a really nice laugh. I hope I’ll hear it on Friday”_

Berwald waited but no more messages came. He hit the text box and without really thinking began typing himself. 

_“It’s not that nice. Not as nice as yours at least.”_

_“Hahaha I don’t believe that”_

Berwald let out a relieved sigh that Tino didn’t seem bothered by anything he said and he found it easier to reply the more it went on. Which turned out to be a lot as the afternoon turned into night and Berwald was laid back in bed, phone in his hands, gazing sleepily at the new words that popped on his screen. 

~ ~ ~

Tino’s hands shook as he held onto the phone in his hands. His vision was slightly blurred and he couldn’t quite think straight. All he knew was he was texting Berwald and he didn’t care how unprofessional it was.

He hadn’t meant for his day to be like this. It started out as normal as any other, he got up and got ready, deciding to skip out on breakfast because he didn’t have much of an appetite. 

Luck was never quite on his side however as a hard knocking on his door startled him out of his tired daze. 

“I’m coming! One second!” He yelled at the front of his apartment where the noise was still banging loud in his tired ears. He rushed to the kitchen area but stopped dead in his tracks instead of opening the door right away, he caught sight of the vase of now shabby flowers on his table. He didn’t want a repeat of yesterday so he quickly grabbed them and ran them back into his bedroom, while assuring the person at his door he was on his way.

After making sure the lilies were safely hidden away, he jogged back to the kitchen and unlocked the front door. He didn’t know why he expected a different tall man to greet him, he should’ve known he wouldn’t escape Ivan that easily. 

“Hello, snowflake.” The Russian’s grin was disturbingly wide, like he was a child who just found a stash of candy, but a hint of darkness still lingered behind it. 

“Good morning, Ivan. You’re here early...again.” Tino noted cautiously, stepping out of the way to avoid being pushed as the other man entered his apartment. The bruises on his neck still ached with remembrance of what happened last time he had entered his apartment and he went cold in fear it would happen again. 

“I just came to check on you, you were screaming a lot last night.” The Russian replied easily, ghosting past the Finn and eyeing the little area pensively. 

Tino stiffened even more at the admission that Ivan heard him last night. He wondered how long he had stuck around to listen. The thought sent chills up his spine. “It was a customer, of course I was yelling. They pay more when you do.” 

Ivan made a small sound of acknowledgement but no more than that as his gaze travelled from one part of the room to the other, as if looking for something. Tino didn’t fail to notice the way he stopped and stared at his empty table.

“Your flowers are gone.” The bulky man noticed aloud. 

Tino was quick to think of an excuse without tipping the other off or upsetting him. “Well, after yesterday, they were so bruised there wasn’t much point in keeping them.” He lied. He didn’t know why he did, but something in him told him that it was for the best if Ivan thought he didn’t have the flowers anymore.

“Hmm, such a shame. Why’d you break those again?” He asked, turning his smile back to Tino. There wasn’t anything he could say to that so he just frowned, relieved when Ivan didn’t take offense.

“Ah, yes. Yesterday morning, we were having a discussion.”

Tino felt the color leave his face at those words. There was no way Ivan had just remembered, he just liked to toy with him. The Finn knew this all too well because it was the game that the Russian always played. He acted innocent when in reality he was little more than a sadistic monster. Tino had never met a person worse and yet he was almost too afraid to leave his home in search of a better one. He figured it would be best just to stay where he was and take the abuse rather than have Ivan come after him in a fit of rage for leaving. That was little comfort in times like these however.

“I don’t know what you want from me, Ivan. I told you, he’s just a customer and nothing else.” Tino began.

Ivan hummed lowly as if he were in thought, pacing slowly around the room until he stopped short of running into the Finn. “That may be, but you should know better than to oppose me.” He muttered darkly, glaring down at the purple eyes that shone with just a hint of fear.

“I’m not! I just didn’t want you to get the wrong idea.” Tino defended, not liking the way Ivan shook his head.

“There you go, fighting me again.” The Russian’s lips curved into a smile, despite the displeasure in his voice. 

Tino felt a sharp pain run through him when Ivan roughly grabbed him upper arm, gripping it tightly in his hand and pulling him even closer. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end as lips grazed one of his ears, a warm breeze of air following it as the taller man spoke.

“Do I have to teach you another lesson?” He whispered, fist still squeezing pain into the smaller man as he snaked his free arm around his waist. A small shake of the head gave him his answer. “Then you will be good and listen?” He added, pushing his groin against Tino’s stomach as he waited. After hearing a small suck in of breath at his actions, the Finn finally nodded his agreement, making Ivan’s grin spread painfully wide.

“That’s good. I’d hate to have to have to hurt you, snowflake.” His hand wormed under the fabric of Tino’s shirt, feeling the hot skin underneath. “You or that man.” He felt the shorter man jolt under his fingers at his words, but kept them moving anyway. He decided to explain, “You didn’t really think that if you were to leave me for him that I wouldn’t track the two of you down, did you? You belong to me, so it would only be right for me to take back what is mine if he stole it, da?” His lips left the Finn’s ear in favor of his neck, making sure to bite down hard enough to leave a bloody mark within the bruises he had already made despite the obvious suffering it put his tenant in.

“Please don’t...he hasn’t done anything. He doesn’t even know about you.” Tino pleaded. Berwald didn’t deserve to be in pain because of him, there was no reason for him to be caught up in this mess that was his life.

“Don’t worry, pet. As long as you don’t get any funny ideas and run off, he has nothing to worry about.” 

Tino didn’t say anything, preferring not to accidently rile Ivan up and end up with more than just a bruised up neck and arm. So, he let the hands roam his body and did his best to ignore the nauseous feeling building in the pit of his stomach from the lips trailing across his skin. They burned like acid, leaving a numb burning in their wake, but they were nothing compared to the pain that came soon after.

Ivan had him leaned over his kitchen table, not even bothering to uncloth him, instead settling for just pulling his pants down enough to expose him for penetration. He was lucky the Russian was generous enough to prepare him some first, albeit without little care and rushed movements. Tino balled his hands into shaky fists as the table thumped loudly against the wall as he was shoved into repeatedly.

When it was over, he hadn’t finished, and Ivan left him to clean himself up, which he did with little hesitation. He wanted the vile substance out of him as soon as possible, and if he could, to forget it even happened.

After a long shower, the Finn wandered into his bedroom where he sat on the edge of his bed, staring down at the bag in his lap. He was glad now that he had gotten this from Yao when he did as he opened it and pulled out the contents. 

Lukas would kill him if he knew what he was doing, but as Tino prepared the substance, he didn’t really care what his friend thought. Right now, he just wanted to leave his suffering behind, even if that happiness was artificial. 

~ ~ ~

Without realizing it, Tino had gotten a hold of his phone and was typing away. His fingers numb as they tapped on the screen under Berwald’s name. The ding had startled him when it went off, signaling that he had gotten a message. Looking down at it through foggy eyes, he made out Berwald’s message with enough effort and managed to reply.

Even with a clouded mind, Tino knew he needed to sound normal enough as to not raise suspicions. He didn’t want the Swede to be scared off if he knew something was up.

The texting started out innocent enough, since Tino did really want to see the other on Friday, but after the simple confirmation was left uncontinued, Tino began to stir with unrest. His fingers twitched, aching to continue talking to the tall man. Picking his phone back up, he typed another message, almost surprised at the quick response he was given. Yet, he found himself awaiting for the next text to come in every time he sent his own, smiling at his phone despite the fog in his head.

There really was something about Berwald that calmed him even though he knew he shouldn’t think that way. He couldn’t help the way he was looking forward to each message as if he wasn’t talking to one of his customers because it felt like a friend. Under normal circumstances he would never do this but his head was up in the clouds and for the moment, he could do anything and it would all be alright.

He spent his day, lying back on his bed, staring at the screen of his phone as his high slowly fell. But even as his mind cleared and the pain returned, he kept smiling dumbly at the device in his hands until it was time to go into work late that evening. By the time he was ready to go to work he was mostly sober, the foreign drugs having subsided into a dull hum in the back of his mind. 

_“I’m going into work now, I’ll talk to you later.”_ He sent, sitting in his lonely room at the club, dressed in crimson lingerie. 

_“Ok, have a good night. Stay safe.”_ Came the reply right after.

A soft smile set on his lips as he read the words before him. Poor Berwald, he was too kind to be caught up with someone like him. He truly had no idea what he was like. A twinge of pain shot into his heart at the thought and he stood up to go on stage, leaving his phone behind after one more text. 

_“Goodnight, Ber”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Sexual abuse and drug usage


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank Sekiari and kai for telling me I accidently uploaded the same chapter twice (ᅌᴗᅌ*) Sorry I’m an idiot, guys! I really appreciate their kindness and all the nice comments everyone is leaving.
> 
> I also want to apologize that it took so long to get this next chapter out. It’s been hard for me to write lately and I wasn’t sure exactly what I wanted to do for this scene. But I finally got it and I hope that this chapter is good enough to make up for it!
> 
> Anyway, here is the REAL chapter 8!!

“You’re going on a _date_?” Mathias exclaimed. Berwald could hear his voice raise in excitement on the other side of the phone.

He responded with a low groan, resisting the urge to hang up on Mathias already. He should have known better than to tell him about meeting Tino. “It isn’t a date, Mathias. We just decided to hang out. You aren’t my only friend, you know?” Berwald reasoned. He was already telling himself not to think of it as anything other than a seller with his customer, but the hope was there for something more. Mathias surely wasn’t helping it either.

Mathias snorted on the other end. “Really? Since when?” He asked sarcastically. 

Berwald pretended the joke didn’t hurt just a little and let the comment roll off his back, since he knew his friend didn’t mean it. Still, he had a point. 

“You hardly say a word to anyone at work and I don’t think you even speak when you’re not in the office.” Mathias continued. “Look, I’m just glad to hear you’re talking to someone other than me. You really need to branch out more, that was the whole point of us going to the club. And it totally worked! I can’t believe you actually got a lapdance from a hot stripper. Next, you’ll be-”

“Mathias!” Berwald interrupted. Thank god his friend wasn’t there in the car with him or he would be even more red than he was. 

“Alright, alright. I don’t see why you’re getting so upset, you’re the one who did it.” The Dane mumbled into the phone. It was quiet for a few more moments before the Swede heard his friend chuckle. “Alright, you should let me meet this friend of yours.” 

“What? Why?” Berwald was shocked by that, he didn’t know where Mathias was going with this but he knew it wasn’t good. 

“Yeah! I want to meet him! I have to make sure he’s good enough for you and all that.” 

“Mathias, we’ve met only a handful of times. I’m not introducing him to you like you’re my parents.” Came the argument. What a ridiculous thing to ask. If only he could tell him what sort of mess he’d gotten himself into, being infatuated with a stripper and paying him to go out with him. Maybe he was getting desperate for companionship.

“But I’m basically you’re family now, so why not?” 

Mathias had him there. He was the closest thing he had to family now and if he did ever find someone he wanted to be with he wanted Mathias to like them. Still, this was far from the case. This was paid entertainment and free-food for Tino, Berwald had to remind himself of that. Yet, he found his heart thumped anxiously in his chest as his car sped closer to his destination. 

He had offered to pick Tino up at his apartment but the Finn insisted that he just meet him at where they were going and gave him the address. Berwald hadn’t been sure of what to make of that but didn’t argue and just put the directions into his GPS.

“I’ll tell you what,” broke the silence. Mathias had been too quiet and now Berwald knew he was up to something. “Let me take you and your friend to dinner. Not as a date, just to hang out. We can chat, eat, and go home. Nothing more, nothing less. I’ll even bring my new friend along for you to meet.” 

This did peek Berwald’s interest only because Mathias hadn’t mentioned a new friend before. Something in him said that it was a lie to get him to agree. “You never said you were talking to anyone before now.” The Swede accused quickly, wanting to call his friend’s bluff out of the gate.

“Yeah, he’s a little shy...and kind of like you, he doesn’t talk much. I think you’d get along well. So, what do you say? Tomorrow night alright?”

Berwald sighed through his nose, thinking it over. Something still told him this was a lie just to get him to meet Tino. But, if it was true, he did want to find out why he hadn’t mentioned this friend before. In the end, Berwald was still cautious and wouldn’t promise anything.

“I’ll have to ask Tino, he might be busy tomorrow night.”

“Of course! We can always reschedule too. Just let me know as soon as you can.” Mathias said excitedly, as if it had been a yes.

“Mmhm.” Berwald mumbled. “I’m about to arrive, I’ll text you later.”

“Bye, man! Have fun on your ‘not-date’!” 

With that, Berwald parked and looked up at his destination. He had never been there before but it did make him raise an eyebrow. Why on earth would Tino take him to a museum? 

He didn’t have much time to think before he heard his phone ding to life. Looking down, he saw the familiar name of Tino asking him if he was there yet. Giving a quick reply, he climbed out of his car and headed towards the front door where the Finn was waiting.

And sure enough, as soon as he entered the door, Tino was standing near the ticket desk with a big smile. 

“Berwald, you made it! I’m so glad, it’s been a while since I’ve gone to the museum.” The Finn said, turning towards the woman at the counter once the other was with him.

“Mm,” the Swede nodded in agreement, though he didn’t mind museums, he didn’t expect this to be the place Tino picked to hang out. He pulled out his wallet and paid for two tickets, handing one to the shorter man as they walked towards the exhibits. Maybe Tino really was just using him for a free ticket, which Berwald couldn’t really blame him for. He did ask him to go out and he did let the Finn pick where they went, so of course it would be somewhere he wanted to go. Again, he was painfully reminded that this wasn’t even a friendly day out, let alone a date. It was a payday.

His thoughts rolled around in his head as he automatically followed after the small frame in front of him. He handed the man guarding the way his ticket and walked through.

“Berwald, you okay?” Tino asked, who he found was looking up at him worriedly. “Do you not want to be here? I thought you might like it here, but if I was wrong, I’m sorry.” 

Suddenly, Berwald must’ve realized how his heart-aching must’ve looked on the outside. “No, it’s good. I haven’t visited the museum in a long time, it’s nice to be back.”

Tino still looked hesitant about his decision but smiled a little anyway. “That’s good to hear,” he said. “There was a special exhibit I wanted you to see. It looked like something you might really like. I think it’s this way,” Tino pointed towards a green sign that had an arrow facing the right. 

The two turned the corner and kept following the signs, though now Berwald was curious as to what Tino wanted to show him so badly. He had been too confused to really pay attention to what exhibits were there right now so he could only imagine what he had in store.

Coming to a set of double doors, a large sign read “Forest Nature Exhibit” in big letters. Berwald looked down at Tino with a raised eyebrow, who in turn looked up at him hopefully. 

“I thought you’d like it here. You said you hadn’t been camping in a while, so here’s a little piece of nature. I heard they have this cool presentation too, let’s go see.” The excitement in Tino’s voice was easy to hear and that smile was one Berwald couldn’t say no to. 

He was still surprised the other man put this much consideration into where they went as he followed after Tino into the room. Maybe this was more than just a payday after all.

They guided themselves through replicas of wild animals and pushed through greenery as it hung out into the walkway. Stopping every so often to talk about one of the creatures in the display case or how Berwald liked to camp in places just like this. 

“Look, a bear! How cool is that?” Tino grinned into the glass case, staring up at the stuffed bear that towered over him. Its teeth shined in the light and its claws outstretched as it stood on its legs. 

Berwald looked at the creature as well, admiring its height and ferocity in its still body. It was easy to think some animals were much smaller until you stood right in front of one.

“They kind of remind me of you, actually.” Tino spoke up, gliding over to the next case. It also held the posed bodies of bears, but this time they were on all fours. It was a mother and two cubs. The fear and terror of the last one being replaced by a sense of protection and caring. 

“Hm? The bears?” Berwald asked, confused.

“Yeah, I mean, they’re super big and kind of scary at first glance but...only because they’re protective. But they can be gentle, too.” Tino pointed at the display of the mother with her cubs for emphasis. “It’s like you, in a way. You’re tall and strong, you can be intimidating sometimes. But you’re also kind and, so far, it seems like you only get upset when you’re worried about someone.” He smiled at the tall blonde, as if expecting some sort of response, but Berwald was speechless. No one had ever said anything like that to him, except maybe Mathias on those rare occasions he decided to be serious. 

“Was that silly? I’m sorry. I should really learn to think before I speak more.” Tino laughed lightly at himself as he turned back towards the display, tearing his eyes from the man beside him. 

Obviously, Tino had taken his lack of response as a bad thing. Berwald mentally kicked himself for doing that again. “No, it’s a nice thing to say. Thank you.” He replied finally, catching the Finn’s gaze with his own. “I’m just not used to getting compliments, so I...wasn’t sure how to take it.” He spilled before he could stop himself. Why he bothered to tell him that, he didn’t know, but he swore he saw a flicker of sadness in Tino’s eyes when he said it. 

After one more small smile, Tino put his arm around Berwald’s and pointed with his free hand further into the exhibit. “Let’s keep going, we haven’t even made it to the presentation yet.”

Berwald was too shocked to fight Tino pulling him along by the arm, not that he would have anyway. He walked deeper into the replicas of nature until they came across a closed door with an “Enter” sign on it. 

“This must be it! I heard such good things about it, let’s go in.” Tino opened the door and they were met with a rush of cool air. Seeing the Finn shiver, the Swede instinctively pulled him closer as they stepped inside. It was extremely dark, only a few, small lights illuminating the way as they pushed further in. There was the faint hum of music in the background as lights began to appear on the ceiling, mocking the sight of a clear view of space from the forest sky. Sounds of crickets and owls began to play as well, enveloping them in the false sense that they really were in the middle of the woods at night. 

“Whoa, that is beautiful.” Tino whispered, lavender eyes staring straight up as planets began to appear on the ceiling. 

Berwald took in the experience as well, it was just like how he felt when he actually went camping. The freedom and the loneliness all wrapped up together to make this beat in his chest. He spared a glance down and could now see that the lights from the stars and planets on the ceiling were illuminating Tino’s face. It was like staring into happiness embodied. His round face pulled into an open-mouthed smile filled with pure amazement. His eyes shined with the stars, sparkling with awe as if they were trying to out shine the very lights in the sky. As breathtaking as everything around them was, it still wasn’t enough to distract him from the beauty that was Tino. 

He had it bad, he knew he did. He had to fight every urge to just scoop Tino up and kiss him right there. But he didn’t want to ruin what little relationship they had. Even if it was just a seller and a customer, it was better than nothing, and Berwald felt a cold chill run through him at the thought of losing what little happiness Tino was bringing him.

Feeling the slight shiver from Berwald broke Tino from his trance long enough to look away from the spectacle to make sure he was okay. He was shocked to find that he was being looked at right back. “Are you cold?” He asked, since it was rather chilly in there. He supposed it was to recreate the cold of the forest at night. He didn’t wait for an answer as he pushed himself closer against the tall blonde, resting his head on the his shoulder, and wrapping his arms around his large frame. “I’ll help keep you warm, if you’re cold. But I’d like to stay in here a little longer. It’s too beautiful to leave just yet.” He said quietly, though his eyes never left Berwald’s mysterious blue ones as he spoke. 

He kept their gaze together a short time longer until again the mirage on the ceiling shifted again and this time showed the Northern Lights flickering above them. Again, Tino’s face filled with awe as he admired the display before them. Berwald too finally looked up again and enjoyed the show, even if it wasn’t real, it was nice. He also noticed he wasn’t too cold anymore, the feeling of Tino in his arms was enough to warm him completely. 

~ ~ ~

“That was amazing!” Tino exclaimed once they left the exhibit. “I’ve never seen anything like that before! It felt so real, I wish I could really see it one day.”

“Maybe you can...next time I go camping, I’ll invite you.” Berwald offered, only making the Finn bounce with even more excitement. 

“I would love that.” He said, looking through the various knick-knacks that the giftshop held. He wasn’t really shopping, but he was curious as to what they had around. 

Berwald too was glancing at all the plushies and postcards and other random objects they had around. He was absentmindedly considering buying something for Mathias as a show of truce. Maybe if he bought his friend something he’d be less annoying and stop asking him to meet Tino for a little while. Then again, probably not.

“Ooh, Ber, look at this. Isn’t it pretty?” 

The Swede turned around to find Tino holding a necklace up to his throat, a figure of a bear hanging off the end of it against his chest. “It says it’s made out of a stone from a local forest. It’s a cute little bear, just like the ones we looked at.” He noted.

The blonde nodded, it did look good on Tino. Then again, he wasn’t sure anything would look bad on him either. “Do you want it? I’ll buy it for you.” He offered.

Tino hesitated at that, “N-No, you don’t need to do that. You already bought me my ticket, I won’t make you buy me everything.”

But Berwald shook his head, “That was part of the deal, wasn’t it? You agreed to let me take you out, so I intend to uphold my part of the bargain.”

“You asked to take me out, not buy me a bunch of stuff.” 

“It isn’t a bunch of stuff, it’s one necklace...and dinner, if you want to.” Berwald countered, taking the small bear between his fingers to look at it. 

Tino let go of the chain so Berwald could hold the necklace, but frowned worriedly. “I don’t know, I don’t want you to keep spending all your money on me. I mean, my customers are one thing but this is different.” He was used to taking money for his body, but this wasn’t that. This was just spending time with someone and, not only getting paid for it, he was getting gifts as well. “I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

Again, Berwald shook his head. “It’s my choice to spend my money.” He reasoned. “And this way, you can have this necklace and think of me.” Tino was the one who said he reminded him of bears, after all.

The shorter man couldn’t help but blush, but didn’t mind the idea of it. “Alright, sure, I give.” He smiled, putting his hands up as if giving up. “But just this once, because I wouldn’t mind having something to remind me of you.”

Now it was Berwald’s turn to keep himself from turning pink, so he nodded and started walking towards the register to check out. He swore he heard Tino giggle behind him as he fought the red off his face.

~ ~ ~

A short while later, Berwald found himself sitting in his car with food on his lap, Tino in his passenger side seat. He noticed the careful way the Finn toyed with the necklace that hung gracefully around his neck, twirling the little bear between his pale fingers. It was mesmerizing to watch.

He had insisted they go into a restaurant and eat but Tino was stubborn about wanting to get something cheap since he had already spent enough today. Begrudgingly, the Swede eventually complied and went through with getting fast food and relaxing in the emptying parking lot of the museum.

“Thank you for agreeing to go in the museum with me today, Berwald.” Tino said between bites. “It was a lot of fun.” 

The tall man grunted in response, since no thanks was needed. He thoroughly enjoyed his time with Tino as well and the only thanks he wanted was the promise to do it more often. “It’s no problem, I had a good time as well. Not many people want to go out anywhere with me, so it was a nice change for once.” It wasn’t sad as much as it was just the cold truth at this point. Berwald was used to it and Mathias was right when he joked earlier. He really didn’t have any other friends.

Tino looked down at his food as he quietly ate. The other didn’t seem to have a problem with apparently not having anyone to go out with but he was sure that wasn’t actually the case. If it was, Berwald wouldn’t have been paying him to go out with him. “Would you like to hang out again later?” He asked. “Since we both had a good time, I mean.” It was the least he could do for the man who was doing so much more than anyone else was for him.

“Of course I’d like to.” He replied, throwing his trash into the fast food bag to be thrown away later. “I’ll keep paying as long as you’ll let me have your time.”

Tino bit his lip at that. Part of him wanted to say that he would do it for free but that was off limits. This wasn’t a friendship or anything more and he couldn’t let it be. He was already breaking so many of his own rules, he didn’t want to break that one. “Just say when and I’ll see if I’m off work.”

Berwald nodded, waiting for the other to finish his food when a thought came to him. Maybe this was stupid of him but it was worth a shot. “Actually, my friend did want me to eat with him tomorrow night and, well, he said he was bringing his new friend along. I was really dreading going alone, if you’d like to come too.” He still wasn’t sure Tino meeting Mathias was the best idea, but he didn’t think he’d recognize him from the club. Afterall, most men don’t look at the faces.

A light hum filled the car, Tino honestly didn’t think Berwald would have something so soon. “Tomorrow? I work that night but...if it isn’t too late, I could probably come earlier in the evening.” He answered, to the Swede’s obvious surprise. Tino laughed a little at the man’s shock, he must’ve thought he’d be shut down immediately. “Don’t look so shocked, I don’t mind meeting your friend. It’ll be super awkward for you too if you’re a third wheel, I wouldn’t want that.” He chuckled.

“Right...” Berwald agreed lowly. He did have a good point there.

“So, tell me about your friend. What should I expect?” Tino asked, crumpling up his used paper and throwing it in the bag of trash.

“What to expect from Mathias? Well, he’s loud, he’s over-confident, and he makes bad jokes...” He started, glancing over at Tino to see him staring back at him with a curious smile. He guessed he should give Mathias more credit since Tino seemed to be waiting for the good parts. “But, he is my best and only real friend...he can be an idiot sometimes but he means well. He only has good intentions and he’s helped me through a lot in my life...I don’t know if I’d be here without him, honestly.” He stole another glance at the Finn and he was still looking curious but it was different now. His eyebrows were slightly furrowed and his smile was replaced with a small frown. But the interest was still there in his eyes, silently begging for more of an explanation without being too invasive.

“It’s stupid, you don’t want to hear me complain.” Berwald muttered, answering Tino’s nonexistent questions. 

But he felt a warm pressure on his arm and saw that beautiful face curl up more in concern. “It isn’t stupid, Berwald.” Filled the car with airey worry. “I’m not going to make you talk about it, but whatever it is, it isn’t stupid. And I’m glad for this Mathias, because he’s helped you through it.” 

For a while, Berwald was content on the hand that was pressed comfortingly against his arm. He knew he was just digging himself into a hole that soon he wouldn’t be able to get out of, but it felt so right to be there that he didn’t care. “Mathias is the only one who doesn’t judge me for how I am.” He stated quietly. “The only one in my life that wasn’t intimidated by my looks or thought I was cruel because I don’t talk much. Everyone else makes assumptions, they always have, and I’m used to it now. But it used to take a toll on me.” 

“I don’t think those things,” Tino commented softly. “I never thought those things.”

Berwald gave a small smile as thanks, though he wasn’t sure if it was noticeable with how stoney his face was. “Like I said, it doesn’t bother me as much anymore but there was a time where I thought it’d be better for everyone if I was dead. I had no family anymore, hardly any friends, nobody who wanted to be with me, I saw no reason to continue living when nothing was going to change but...Mathias convinced me to keep going.” He explained, but why he couldn’t say. He didn’t know why he suddenly wanted to let Tino know every painful detail of his past or why he thought the Finn would even care. But he did and once he started, it was hard to stop. “I moved with Mathias here, away from everything we’d known before. It was a fresh start for both of us and we ended up working in the same place.”

It was quiet again until Tino swallowed the lump in his throat and could finally speak again. “I’m so sorry, Berwald.” He told him quietly. “You’re an amazing and kind person, you never deserved to feel that way about yourself.” He honestly thought that was true. Something about someone as caring and selfless as Berwald hurting in that way was enough to make his heart wrench painfully. It made him feel guilty for taking his money just to spend time with him, he didn’t want Berwald to think he had to pay to have happiness. 

“You deserve so much better than that...than me. You know I don’t think those awful things about you, right? I’m not just here because you paid me to be.” He felt like he needed to at least tell Berwald that he was more than just his money. “You’re sweet and I’m glad to have met you, and if we had met any other way, I would have loved to be your friend. But I don’t want to ruin your life like I have mine. There’s no going back for me, but you’re still amazing in so many ways. Even if we can’t be friends, I want you to know I do care about you. I shouldn’t, but I do. That’s why I have to protect you from me, and that’s why I can’t let us be more than this. You deserve better than someone like me.”

Berwald stared at Tino as he ranted, the fear and concern plastered openly on his face. He meant his words, as far as he could tell. He wasn’t just making excuses, he was being genuinely terrified of what their relationship growing could mean for him. And he truly cared about him. “Tino...I don’t know why you think you’re bad for me, because I don’t think so at all.” He said confidently but softly, so Tino wouldn’t think he accidently upset him. “I’m not going to force you into something you don’t want, but I’m not going to run away and leave you either. I know you think your life is over but it doesn’t have to be. I got through my demons with the help of a friend, and I’ll be here to help you fight yours whenever you need me too.” He reached over and cupped that gorgeous, round face in the palm of his hand.

Tino closed his eyes and leaned into the touch, letting his eyes water but refused to let the tears fall over his cheeks. He had fought them a long time and he knew how to keep them from spilling over. 

“Berwald...you have no idea what you’re saying...you know what I do for a living, I’m not a good person.” Tino sighed.

“That doesn’t matter to me.” Berwald reasoned, watching as the Finn slowly opened his eyes and looked up at him. “I know what it feels like to be hopeless, but I won’t let you feel the pain I felt. You’re one of the best people I’ve ever met. I don’t care about your job, Tino, I care about who you are.” 

For once in his life, Tino felt like he wasn't being lied to. It was dangerous to let his heart drum quickly the way it did when he was with Berwald, but as the tall Swede started to lean closer, he couldn’t stop himself. He closed his eyes once more and slowly let his quivering lips meet the other man’s warm ones in the first real kiss he’d had in a long, long time.


End file.
